New York Missions trip
I am soo stressing..it hurts. It actually hurts to breathe again...like when Tobi died..
I always want to cry. And yet, nobody notices..and if they do, they dont care. Today mom asked why Im wearing a dog tag. :-( Said Im not a dog.. DUH! Its because I cant let go! Grr. And I didnt even get to go to youth group. Crystal was making me mad. i invited Theo..and he could come..then we had to drive the Philips (ryan and tiffani) so dad and crystal said we cant drive theo. Well, screw them! Thats not fair! and then..i just stayed with mom for the evening. I cant stand Dad..or crystal. THEY KEEP TEAMING UP! like they used to...they were always a damn team! Whatever. Im leaving when Im 18. But speaking of leaving..I have to fill out a survey, about the missions trip to new york...Do I even want to go anymore? I dont fit in with youth group...and its $480.00 But would I want to be stuck with Dad while Crystal was gone? And would I want to be stuck with Crystal if I went? If I go..what do I want to do there? soup kitchen for the homeless, meals on wheels for AIDS patients, homless chapel services, addicted teen chapel services, feeding the elderly, ministering at nursing home, or food pantry ministry? Which three? After that..the next three... between...prayer stations at ground zero, evangelism at ground zero, staten island ferry evangelism, beach youth evangelism, FDNY firehouse visits, or TV morning show evangelism? WHAT?! GRR. People. email me with thoughts..I need help.. Also, pray for this..
xxcrimsoncryxx@cs.com