Email your answers to eyelinedplane@yahoo.com

1) What do you think of music today?

2) What kind of music is worth keeping around?

3) How do you feel about being called a poser for listening to two kinds of music? (i.e. rap and punk)

4) Do you think Rock N Roll is dead?

5) What kind of music do you think will 'die' next?

6) Why? (pertaining to question 5)

7) Do you think music would be as popular in most cases (Britney Spears, Nelly, etc) if they didnt use sex to sell their music? Why or why not?

8) Do you think music has changed for the worse or for the better in the past 20 years?

9) Any other comments you have about music today.

PS: Please respond! I need feedback!

Survey says!

Well, last night at youth group we went to Caribou Coffee and played Phase 10. It was fun, I liked it. Very unpredictable. lol. We were there for about 3.5 hours. :-) Today was church. I gave Charisse her gift then left because Crystal had some people come over this afternoon to look at our computer. The guys name was Jeff and I didnt catch his wifes name, but they were really nice. My Dads looking into either two Dell computers or one computer for all of us. We'll see. I personally want my own computer but who knows what will happen. Im trying not to get my hopes up. And then tonight I have youth group at the Rock. Im gonna give Tiffani her present, yay. Its kinda cute. Uhm, yeah, nothing else is really new. OH! Well actually there is. I have to write a 750 word essay on "what music is today." I have three angles Im considering on taking. The Poser angle. Like why are you all the sudden called a poser if you listen to two kinds of music? Or the sleeze angle.. Why is it that musicians can barely sell records unless they take off some clothes? Or the religious angle. How the only music worth keeping around is music worshipful to God because its the only music that means something. All the same, I am taking a survey. Please post your votes!!! Its for a grade! :-)

Phil. 4:6

"Do not be anxious in anything but in everything be prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God."

Kay, something kind of cool happened today, so I'm gonna' post about it! It was at lunch, and I was not in any mood to pray. I was tired, bored with school, and ready to go home. Utterly Exhausted. -This is a dramatizatoon. Repeat: this is a dramatization! - Having just caught up on the daily reading, I knew I had to pray for a better mood. So to God I went. I asked Him for patience and opened doors throughout the rest of the school day and asked for forgiveness, having not prayed this until the day was half over. Doubt filled my head. Would conversation really start up in the 2nd half of journalism or in geometry? Not likely. Nothing in journalism. And math class was almost over. Then, the door opens! The girl sitting next to me, Candy, asked the kid infront of me, James, if he was really religious because she had thrown a pencil at him jokingly and he told her God was watching. He responded "Yes, but not as much as her," Pointing at me. She turned to me and asked how religious I was. I smiled and said "Jesus Freak! Praise the Lawrd!" My hand held up as if in worship, yet jokingly. The two laughed, I smiled and asked her what her stance was on the topic. She said she was lutherin. Point being, I doubted God and He proved Himself to me yet again! Silly me for doubting.

The money pit meets Calvary

This is becoming a "once-a-month" thing now! Kinda funny in my opinion, but apparantly my readers are eager to hear about the boring details of my life, so here goes. I put up the tree for Christmas. It's ugly. Lol, I honestly dont like it. It's fake! Duh, who would like it? I want to take it down but I'm just going to wait until Christmas is over, obviously because that would defeat the purpose of putting it up. And.. I stayed home Wednesday to go to a thrift store in Chicago. The thrift store was a dud but I did end up cleaning all day. Eh? Fun yeah? Hah, no, not really. I had to clean two bathrooms, a kitchen, and living room. On the upside I got paid so no complaints here.
Ummm. Okay, so not this past week, but the week before, the only movies I rented from Blockbuster were Tom Hanks movies. Good stuff. But two of the three movies I rented that week were on TV a few days after I rented them. So that was kinda' funny. On top of those two movies being on, two Tom Hanks movies I didnt rent, Sleepless in Seattle and That Thing You Do, were also on this week. I counted up how many Tom Hanks movies I have seen, and the total was 23. That includes:
1. The Polar Express (2004)
2. The Terminal (2004)
3. The Ladykillers (2004)
4. Catch Me If You Can (2002)
5. Road to Perdition (2002)
6. Cast Away (2000)
7. Toy Story 2 (1999/II)
8. The Green Mile (1999)
9. Toy Story 2 (1999)
10. You've Got Mail (1998)
11. That Thing You Do! (1996)
12. Toy Story (1995)
13. Apollo 13 (1995)
14. Forrest Gump (1994)
15. Sleepless in Seattle (1993)
16. A league of their own
17. Joe Versus the Volcano (1990)
18. Turner & Hooch (1989)
19. The 'burbs (1989)
20. Big (1988)
21. The Money Pit (1986)
22. The Man with One Red Shoe (1985)
23. Splash (1984)
Good stuff, yeah? But I intend to rent Saving Private Ryan and Philedelphia soon so I can cross those off my list. Hes coming out with a few new movies this year that Im excited to see, but one kinda worries me. The Da Vinci Code. I dont know who hes going to play or what not because I didnt read that book, but I really dont want it to be compromising.
Haha, me and my ma' were talking about 'The Moneypit' this past week and we were wondering if we could write something that funny. Non-Stop comedy. I dont know but Im going to try. It's in the process of forming.
OH! I read this book 'The Wager' by Bill Myers. It was soo good. I definately reccomend it. It was about this guy who is a movie star and a christian and hes trying to live by the Sermon on the Mount. So God and satan make this wager on him. satan says the sermon on the mount is impossible to live by and he'll prove it through this guy. But God says its not impossible and He'll prove satan wrong, as per usual. It was really good!
On a closing note, picture this: 'The Money Pit' meets 'Calvary Chapel O'Hare'. Eh, eh?!? I see comedy.

Its been A while

I find it funny how a lot of my "recent" posts are starting with how I feel like I havent updated in forever. Well, maybe that's because I really haven't this time but thats besides the point. Nothing is really "new." I mean, Dad's still going in and out of the hospital.. I think he will be getting the results back from his last telling to determine if the infection is still in him... Um, the girls bible study finally starting which is really great. So far Im really liking it. Ive already learning a few things and am ready to dig deeper so I can grow closer to the Lord. Um, the winter missions are in the process of actually happening. But I get the feeling it's not God's will for me to go this time. Obviously I can't know for sure, like if someone just gave me money to go or something then yeah, but.. I dont know, I dont feel as strong a desire to go as I did for New York. Maybe nobody does and thats to be expected I guess, but it's just not something I feel called to do. Again, I gotta' stress that it could just be satan trying to sway me out of it or just my own understanding telling me that I cant afford it but.. I dont know, Im just waiting for the Lords answer on it all. Another kinda small but I guess big thing that happened recently is that Ive been praying out loud. I dont even know when my first time was.. I think 2 weeks ago at youth group? With the exception of the womans retreat a while ago and Tuesday mornings at school. It's cool though.. Like, it's not really a big deal for me because I pray out loud every night to myself.. I think the major difference is that for some reason when I pray out loud in group or with someone else I kinda' lose my train of thought or what I was going to say and I just kind of fumble over my words. Its a little embarassing but no biggie. Um, then theres my journalism class which is going okay. Weve been writing a lot of leads on sample stories... About half of the class is seniors and I think we're all being graded equally so that means I have to step up a notch. Lately Ive felt really compelled to lift up Theo and Tiffany and Emanuel in prayer. I think thats because a lot of my thoughts have been focused on Peter and Sancha because they're somewhat interested in coming to church so it feels like.. I should just be lifting them up but in reality I need to be praying for all of them because I care about each of them and they all need so much prayer and guidance from the Lord that it shouldn't be my decision who I lift up and who I dont. I havent talked to Theo in..a really long time and I dont think he is going to talk to me even if I try to call him so obviously the only thing I can do in that situation is pray for him. Emanuel has a girlfriend now or something and is busy planning stuff with her so we havent hung out.. Umm. Yeah, well Im done babbling. Nothing really else to say accept that God is so faithful if we just reach out to Him. He will answer us if we just ask him. Soo. JUST ASK HIM! lol

Scary Phone Call

Wow, I feel like I havent updated in forever. ::shrug:: Anyway. My friend Linda called me. I met her in 8th grade and then she moved in with her mom and dad at the end of that year. (Through 8th grade she lived with her aunt and uncle) So I havent seen her since the end of 8th grade. Shes been having a really hard time living with her mom because her mom expects SO much of her. They're chinese and I guess its kind of their custom to be perfect or something like that. Well, Linda just wants to be a normal teenage girl... Read magazine, listen to the latest music, hang out with friends. Thats just, the biggest thing she wants. Well, she called me tonight jusy crying. Shes called me a few times before crying and stuff but this call was different. It was kind of hard trying to make out what she was saying but I managed. She said stuff like "Naomi, you were such a great friend.. i love you girl" and "my life is so horrible.. i just cant live it anymore." then she said 'goodbye' and hung up! I called back a hundred times before she answered. I talked to her for 35 minutes.. Just trying to calm her down, talk her out of whatever she was thinking.. Um, she is just in so much pain. I know exactly how she feels because I used to feel exactly like she does now. Like your struggling so hard to be happy and you just cant. Its like, if your drowing in water and your trying to hard to just get on top to breathe, but you cant. So eventually, you die. And shes saying shes at that point. I was just like.. praying. I tried to tell her I knew how she felt and that she can make it through but when your at the spot, you dont want to hear how "people know how you feel." And it was hard for me to just sit there and not have anything to do.. I could not say anything to help her. I could not do anything to help her. I know all I can do is pray and though that feels so.. helpless, I know its the best thing for her. Im going to call her after school tomorrow and hopefully things will be better.

P.S. (Is that what you write in a journal when you have something little to add? Lol) I am currently working on Volume 2, Issue 2 of RY magazine! I acutally haven't printed Volume 1, Issue 1 yet because it costs $1 a page at the library for colored pages and I dont have $14 yet. Plus I have to buy a $45 memory card for my NEW Powershot A75 digital camera! Yeah! Ma' got it for me 1 week ago for Christmas. Yes, I know its not christmas but it was on sale now. And just to mension.. Wednesday, when I got it, I brought it to Vintage to show my cousins and stuff and Erik was soo keen on dissing it. "Oh, Im getting a $500.00 one.. Mines going to be so much better.. Yours is cheap.. Da da da da da" Well, he is getting one for himself.. And I wont even say how he rubs it in my face that he got a better deal! Gr. Lol. Oh well, Im just so happy I have one I dont care what he does with his. :-P Heh

The 9 fellowship members

Okay, so since Friday my internet has been off. I guess we couldnt afford it or something but now we just got.. something.. Im actually not even sure what it id.. though Im pretty sure its SBC global. Oh well, alteast I can update this now.. though I still cant get on my s/n. ::shrug:: So.. nothing really new has been going on. I missed study on Monday because Crystal didnt want to go and mom said she'd go but she wasnt ready and was tired soo... I didnt go. I know all the verses.. I can type them now without looking. But, that doesnt matter. Lol. Sooo. Lately Ive been spending 2 hours at the library a day.. Well, I did on Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Tuesday.. Not Monday because I THOUGHT we were going to study but whatever, no bitter feelings.At the library, I was working on my news letter/magazing. So far it has 14 pages which is probably the limit because I cant afford to print it anyway. Lol, but personally, I think it looks pretty cool.. I dont intend to give it to anyone or anything.. if they saw it and wanted it them I dont know.. but right now Im just making them for fun. Hehe. Get my stuff published.. by me.. :-) Umm. So yesterday I totally sat down and watched the Fellowship. It was so overwhelming I almost cried! It has been so long since I watched it.. it really brought back memories of New York City! Speaking of which I had a dream about NYC last night. Me, Crystal, mom and aunt Jenny drove down to NYC.. then all the sudden Crystal has a broken leg and apparantly got it from jumping backwards on her crutches.. How she did that on the crutches before actually getting them for the broken leg is beyond me, but thats why its a dream.. I remember something about Jackie and Allie, but I dont remember what they had to do with anything.

Vintage: Battle of the Bulge

Tonight was the Battle of the Bulge at Vintage youth group and it started out pretty cool. The band played some Swicthfoot, Skillet, Evanescence.. then there were some skits, eating contest. Then pastor Heith started his message. He was talking about death.. they had a grim reaper walking around through some RIP tombstones.. and some smoke machines making everything foggy.. right as he was tying Jesus into everything, telling everyone that through Jesus we can live, the smoke alarm went off and we all had to leave! I was just in shock.. like how the enemy did that. We were outside and stopped and prayed for a minute. But basically, the night did not go as they planned. I feel so bad for the people who spent all that time planning it.. like that would just be so upsetting. Im just praying that seeds were planted in those peoples hearts tonight. I pray they come back.. because at this point Im just so fearful that the enemy took hold of them again tonight... but yeah, all I can do is pray..

Shoo be do be do wahhh

Well, Ive been doing alright. Dad went into the hospital for awhile..Northwest Community, but they werent treating him good so he left today and now hes home.. he.. well, im not going to get into it but hes finding a different hospital to check into. So, I guess nothing is really new. The vintage party is tomorrow evening. Crystal cant go because she has to work so I have to get ma to drop me off there or at the Rods and then Crystal can pick me up after she gets off work but its just going to be chaotic.. Um, yeah.. I talked to Jesse yesterday for a bit and hes just been straying from his walk. Getting so wrapped up in himself and dating that he almost doesnt even care. We talked for about an hour (which i was a bit.. iffy about after all the lessons we went over) but I think it was fine. I was praying a lot during the conversation and then like, I dont know if he got anything out of what I shared with him but I kinda got to share my testimony and encourage him so I dont know. Besides that, Im just looking for a job. I filled out an application for Hallmark, and Im going to get one for like, burger king, wendys, and jewel.. and any other places that may hire 15 year olds because i want to buy people something for christmas.. i want to have my own money to spend on what i want or whatever without having to ask mom or dad. And I really want a digital camera.. plus I just need a job, so yeah. lately Ive been making my own little studies on stuff from the bible during study hall because I get bored. The first one I wrote out was just the study from Wednesday night youth group when pastor Heith talked about purity.

PURITY

1 Kings 11:1-10
Song of Songs 5:8 and 6:41
Thessalonians 4:3-8

Genesis 39: 1-12
+ 39:6 -7 "Now Joseph was well built and handsome, and after a while his masters wife took notice of Joseph and said "Come to bed with me."
-In other words, she thought he was hot and wanted him.
+ 39:8 "But he refused. "With me in charge," he told her, "my master does not concern himself with anything in this house; everything he owns he has entrusted to my care."
-Basically, Joseph is telling her he is not going to break the trust with his master and sin against God.
+ 39:10 "And thought she spoke to Joseph day after day, he refused to go to bed with her or even be with her."
-So it wasnt like she asked him once and gave up, but she was constantly tempting him.
-Joseph was wise and decided to stay away from her because the Lord commanded us to flee from temptation.

DO YOU FLEE FROM TEMPTATION?
Girls: Do you dress modestly? Or do you wear clothes that can tempt your brothers? Honestly, are you wearing clothes to get some attention?
Guys: Do you protect your sisters from temptation? Or do you pressure them and tempt them yourselves into doing things the Lord clearly commands us to stay away from until marriage?

~~> Society uses everything for sex. From selling Dorritos to fashion by using sex appeal. Its no surpise to us anymore that were pressured to have sex before marriage but does that mean you have to give in? Joseph didnt. It cost him a lot but he held strong with the Lord, living in faith. It may have cost him a lot but he was brave enough to handle it. Are you?

~~>God has someone special picked out specifically for you to marry.-Be faithful to that person-Thinking in terms of already being married to the person God has picked for you; would dating not be like cheating?-Anyone you date will have their own spouse one day. Their own special person specifically picked for them from God Himself.

Experiment
1) Take some tape and stick it to your clothes. (Duck Tape or Scotch Tape works best)
2) Peel the tape off in 3 minutes
3) Stick in on again somewhere else
4) Repeat numbers 1-3
5) Repeat numbers 1-3
-Eventually that tape will stop sticking.- This experiment is a lot like purity and marriage. The tape is your purity. If you have sex with a certain amount of people, eventually the closeness of it will begin to wear thin. (The stickiness.) By the time you get married, the stickiness of that purity, the tape, will be gone. All that is left is comparisons going around in your head.

Temptation
1 Corinthians 10:13 "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.
Hebrews 4:15 "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet was without sin."

I was faithless through what I thought was a friendless fiasco.

Okay, now this is one of the most personal posts Ive ever written, er, am going to write but I want to get it out.. Last Friday, October 1, 2004.. I was on the phone with my friends Megan and Emanuel. Emanuel has been going through a lot of junk lately and I havent seen Megan for a year and a half because she moved and we just never made plans. So were all on the phone just talking, and I realize how "out of the loop" I really am. They know exactly what eachother is talking about and I was so clueless. About bands, Tv.. etc. A part of me, the smaller part was proud of myself that Ive come so far in my walk with God that Im becoming less of the the world and more a child of Him. But the bigger part of me was almost upset. I used to be the one in the group who knew the latest music, who would laugh at Emans gross jokes.. etc.. Now, the tables have turned. Im the one telling him its not funny, saying I dont know what band theyre talking about.. And I started to feel like a prude.. It was just hard. That on top of sitting alone at lunch and having nobody to talk with, well, it wasnt easy like I said. At youth group it kinda feels like everyone has their best friend. Jackie and Reese or Reese and TIff.. Or Jill and TIff.. Ryan and Erik, Eric and Erik, etc.. And I know.. I KNOW God is more than enough..but it doesnt make having no friends in person any easier. I am so thankful that God is there for me, at all times, no matter what.. Anyway, I think the last thing was Sunday at this new youth group we went to in Lombard when everyone was making some really good friends and I was left in the dark. I said hi and stuff to a lot of people but nobody really talked to me. One girl was so excited to meet Jill, Crystal started talking with this guy Mike who goes to a highschool close to ours.. and I was just standing there. I couldnt understand why Im always the one people dont want to talk to. Why I have no social skills. I started being more like JIll, loud and out spoken.. and being more like the rest of the youth who have lots of friends and I couldnt understand why it wasnt working. Why do people like Jill/Jax/Crys/Reese/Tiff etc and not me?! On the ride home from the youth group I was just listening to my music and basically trying to figure things out. Had God called on me to be a loner? I hoped not because I really have a desire to have close friends and people I can talk with. I was listening to this song by "Barlow Girl" called 'Mirror'. The chorus says : >>Who are you to tell me, That I'm less than what I should be? Who are you? Who are you? I don't need to listen To the list of things I should do, I won't try, I won't try<<>

Praise Reports

Oh my goodness, so much happened today it feels like. Okay, so this morning I just, was not up to going to school but obviously I had to go anyway. So before school Im listening to Seven Places and on the verge of crying from #13.. (On the side of my blog) First block..nothing special..just annoyed and impatient. Second block.. nothing special. Just plain annoying. 3rd block, at the end of class the teached, Mr. Pentz, asked to look at my book (::clears throat:: the bible! ) So I walked up and handed it to him. He was skimming over the pages I was reading. At the time I was looking over the B Attitudes and on the side of the page I had a long note about whether or not being 'angry' is okay..when it is, when its not, etc. Well, he just kinda nodded and handed it back but it was cool. The whole class saw, (and throughout the whole class people were staring at what I do anyway.. it reminds me of what Heidi says sometimes.. how people are just attracted to the light of God that we have inside us.. Like, this year it just seems like people are so...intrigued with what Im doing and stuff. But yeah. Just a side note) 4th block.. nothing really happened.. just that 3 people were arguing about who got to work with me on the quiz because Im "smart".. Uh, on the way to the assembly this one lunch lady asked me to come over and she asked my name.. said she sees me everyday and she didnt know my name.. so, like.. "were cool." lol. After school, around 8 pm, Megan called.. were hanging out at the mall tomorrow. Then we 3 wayed Emanuel. We all talked until 10 pm when Megan got tired. Hes coming to the mall tomorrow also. Megan is coming to youth group too. Answer to prayer.. Lately Ive just added her to my prayers.. next thing I know were talking and shes coming to youth group. Whether or not her intensions are to learn about the Lord, I dont know. So, I get online once we get off the phone and decide "why not IM Peter?" I havent seen him in awhile and.. I just want to say hi. So I say Hi..
Naomi: hey dude
Peter: heeey you
Naomi: hows it going?
Peter: ohhh man
Peter: I need to talk to you
Naomi: alright. go for it. ^_^
Peter: I've decided to goto church, probably this coming weekend...
Naomi: Really? Thats so cool
Peter: yea. I've been thinking about it for a while and...well I just need to
Naomi: That is so cool! What church do you plan on going to?
Peter: Willow Creek...does that sound right? My friend (Garret) went there and is "hooking me up" so to speak
Naomi: Ooh. Well, to be honest, I dont like Willow Creek. To me, they are just looking for money and I have heard from a lot of people who go there that its not fullfilling and that they find more gossip there than at school. But, its fine.. I mean, Im not going to say its a bad church.. you know. I just, think..well, yeah. you get it, I hope.. heh

So, this was so amazing! I REALLY hope I didnt offend him or lead him away from the Lord..but I know how important it is to get involved in the right church.. ::sigh:: He didnt respond yet.. But anyway, that was so amazing because I added him to my prayers lately too.. Its just, so amazing. Im in awe.. Praise the Lord!

Under Attack

Well, quite a bit has actually happened since I last posted. Don (my friend Charisse's grandpa, my pastors father in law..and a close friend so hundreds of people) passed away thursday night last week. The wake was on Monday and the funeral on Tuesday. I didnt go because Crystal didnt have enough gas plus we didnt personally know him.. but I hear about it. For one thing, and it really makes me happy; a lot of people got saved at his funeral. That is just the coolest thing! Like.. I want people to get saved at my funeral! What better way to go, seriously?! That is just, so cool. Secondly..there was a nurse at the funeral..a friend of Dons I guess, and she saw how pale Jasmine was. (Jasmine is the neice of Don.) The nurse told Julie (the mom) to take Jasmine to the hospital because she was too pale. So, later Jasmine was taken to the hospital and she has leukemia (sp?) That just like.. is so horrible. But something that makes the mood lightened is that we know the pastors family and the Miz's are so strong in their walks with the Lord, such a threat to satan as they spread the truth around that the devil was so compelled to attack them in all these areas. But the Lord knows they can handle it. Ah, I love that theyre so strong in the Lord the devil feels the need to attack. Anyway, tonight at youth group nobody was there really. No Jill, no Jackie, no Jules, No Erik. Though Dan was there.. The message was awesome though. About 10 people went up at the end to dedicate the month of October to focusing completely on the Lord. A lot of the other kids just left.. but still, 10 people is truely amazing. I was just sitting in my seat and praying for them and for Dan. Well, Im sick of typing. Though there are other things I could say.. like how the pictures I took of tiff, jill, jax, and reese came out pretty good and how i printed about 10 pages in black and white at the library today.. or how these kids at school call me "Jesus Lover" and how other kids (i.e. seth) put their hands up in an 'X' mark when they see my christian clothes... This kid Dave was laughing when he saw my shirt today (Says "Jesus Saves, The offer still stands.") but then later he apologized.. Anyway, as I said before, there are other things I can talk about but Im not particularly interested in journaling lately. Quickly, I'll say that Darren is back from his mission trip to Egypt and I cant wait to hear about it. I got the new Hilary Duff CD and I really like it, though now I owe Crystal $10.00. I am applying at Hallmark this week and trying to get a work permit so please keep that in prayer. And also keep the talent show in prayer because I want it to be really awesome and I dont know what Im going to wear. :-)

Busy

Well, lets see. Going way back to Friday, I walked from my house to Weathers Field Way Park then Dad picked me up and we went to Jewel. But on my walk I called Theo, I wanted to clear things up and fix thre friendship. Or reconcile whatever was left of it. We talked for about 20 minutes, and by the end of the conversation he came to the decision that he didnt trust me and didnt want to be my friend. I mean, it is somewhat understandable because I did talk to Melody about him and tiffany, but because I was looking out for Tiff, I dont think it was really wrong. In his defense it was because it was pretty cofidential information. I apologized but he didnt care anyway..so yeah. A part of me is almost relieved that he ended the friendship because it was at the point where he didnt appreciate anything.. I let him sleep at my house for 2 weekends...brought him to a concert.. etc..and he is so willing to stop the friendship right there, because i "broke his trust" in a situation with tiffany that he got himself into. But besides that, I do wish things didnt have to end like that. It sucks. But, it is what it is and Im not going to let it get me down; Im just going to continue praying for him and I ask anyone else to lift him up in prayer. Saturday was the church picnic. I hung with Tiffani-Nicole and Jill mostly. We roamed around and I took some pictures of them. Then we had the meeting of youth group for girls about modesty. It was good. Umm, okay, so Sunday was Praise in the Park. I stayed with Charisse, Jax and Jill after church and took some pictures of them around the park. It was cool. Then we went to Praise in the Park. I called Eman and talked to him for about a half hour. He told me a bit about what happened and its got me really worried. Just, guys..please lift him up in prayer. I cant give details yet because hes still secretive about it and its not my place, so..just pray for him in general. Um.. I missed monday night study because I was sick.. Today, Tuesday, was tiffanys birthday! Happy birthday TIFF! Heh, I made her a booklet of pics of her and theo..Its kinda cute, but umm. Then I went out with my Ma after my half day of school and we went to the Saturn Dealer. Walked out (Drove out in a ) 2004 Saturn ION. Its nice. lol. New car! Its silver. Yay. we went driving around for about an hour and a half, just cruising. Okay well.. thats about it for now.

The Phone Call

Wow! For one, youth group was kinda annoying. Everyone was running around humping each other jokingly.. We watched Different Strokes.. they made all this popcorn and people just threw it around like nothing else! Was really rude and I know if I was leader to that group, Id be really upset. But anyway, on the ride home from youth group, Aunt Linda called my cell. She had NEVER called me before. Until of course she talked to my dad and found out I was thinking of moving out. She kept me on the phone for 40 minutes, telling me how I should be acting, ect. Then she starts saying my mom doesnt know how to properly love someone. Well, for one, she wouldnt know because all she goes by is what my dad remembers about my mom from 5 years ago. Secondly, she thinks my dad is so great at showing love but its all physical! Oh well.. then she tells me to talk to a psychologist.. like her son Michael did at my age. Then she says.. everything is only good in moderation. You cant do something to an extreme.. (talking about religion). There is no "too deep." I know the Lord and I base my life off of what I learn about it. I thirst to learn more of His ways and grow closer to Him.. and if that is "too deep" to people, then so be it. I know the Lord wants so much more than anything I can ever give Him, so I dont see how Im doing too much. Sounds crazy to me. Obviously right now Im a bit frusterated...so Im going to stop talking and wait to cool down. Wooh

Kicked out?

Well, me and Dad got into a fight yesterday. Here is the story. On the way to school in the morning, I asked Crystal for my headphones back. She said she left them at home, but the thing is I gave her headphones back to her the other day. She did not hear me say I also wanted mine back so she left them at home. So, before I got out of the car I took my CD back from her and said she couldn’t use it so she had nothing to listen to all day. She started yelling at me in the car, then apparently called Dad from school and told him I was arguing with her in her car. So, after school Dad sat me down and was like “Number one, you CAN NOT yell at your sister while she’s driving! We have been over this before. I’m really sick of your attitude towards me, and your sister.” I did not say anything the whole time really. Then he says “And you need to pick up the towels in the bathroom after you take a shower! I am sick of telling you a thousand times to do something and then you never do it! Pick up your crap.” (I put a towel down on the floor when I take a shower because he clips his toenails, smokes in that bathroom, and does not clean the floor so it’s disgusting. I do not want to touch it) Well, then he says, “You spend all your time on the internet, stay up late, and don’t pull your weight around this house! You’re lucky I give you the privilege of the internet! You have everything you could possibly want! You have NO idea how lenient I am with you girls. You can not even imagine what any other father would do.” I do not know where the transmission happened, but he started talking about my moving in with Mom again. He says, “You would have nothing there! No internet, nothing. You think you’d like it better there?” (Yes, I said, I do not need the internet.) He says to me, “Then you can’t use it!” So now, I cannot go on anymore. Also said he is going to take away my cell phone. He goes on saying how he would not allow me to leave so I said that would be up to the judge, not him; That I am old enough where the judge would ask what I wanted and most likely let me. He got so mad and said, “You know what, go live with your mom! I will pay her $125 to take you! Leave! You will be miserable. I hope you know what your doing!” So I walked away… :: sigh:: I don’t know what I’m going to do now. I will tell Mom after school what happened because she is picking me up to go to Car Max with her.

Naomi got asked out (not just a catchy title!) EHH!

Well, a lot has KINDA been happening. Im going to start with today and make my way back as far as I can remember; as far as updates go. For one thing, after school today! Crystal had to go to Art Club for an officers meeting so I was sitting outside for an hour waiting. I didnt really have a problem with it. I could have gone to a club but I just felt like chilling. So okay, Im walking around for about 20 minutes by the front doors. A few thoughts pop into my head about witnessing or being a good example but I didnt act on it. Im just walking, and looking, and walking, and looking, right? Okay, so I see this small note on the ground and naturally, I think "Ooh juicy!" You know, thinking it had potential to put in my book, so I pick it up. It was Isaiah 50:4. It reads: "The Lord God hath given me the tongue of the Learned that I should know how to speak a word in season to (him that is) weary: he wakeneth morning by morning, he wakeneth mine ear to hear as the learned." So, I just intepreted it as...God telling me Ive heard the truth and know it. I can talk about it to the weary/people who dont know what I do. So I went and sat on a bench. A few seconds after I did this boy walks up to sit on the bench beside the one I was on and I just said 'hi' to be friendly. He asked if he could sit by me and I was just like 'oh yeah, sure..' You know, I figured it was a good oppurtunity to talk about the Lord. First impression, nice kid.. Had clammy hands.. (I know because when we introduced ourselves he shook my hand.. his name was Matthew) Well anyway, we started talking. I asked a lot of questions to just get to know him, be friendly.. set the air to a calmer feeling. Anyway, asked him his name, obviously, year in school (sophomore), age (15), some classes he has (only mensioned gym and lunch is A), what kind of car he wanted (a lambrigini [sp?] ), where he wanted to travel (Rome)... what kind of music he likes (hilary duff..ashlee simpson) you know, just random questions. I asked what kind of things he does afterschool.. oddly enough.. >_> he said he is selling his moms couch on Ebay without her knowing.. Anyway, asked him if he goes to church.. Said he goes to Willow Creek. -_- Um, yeah. I just asked some things like if hes involved in a youth group (yes) ect. He swore and I made a face and hes just like "oh you dont like swearing? Im sorry" He asked me if I have a boyfriend.. (stupidly..force of habit, I said no.. but the truth is I do.. right now as I said before Jesus is my boyfriend and Im dedicated to Him.. ) So yeah.. I kinda get the feeling hes a bit slow BECAUSE (yes i have a reason) he asked me out! Gr. It was horrible! I said no..I didnt know him.. and hes like "well, I can meet you at lunch and we can talk.." And I was just like.. uh, no, Im sorry.. Made sure he wasnt upset..but yeah.. I hope he doesnt come out to lunch where I sit tomorrow. Yikes, hes a nice kid but... I just didnt know what to do in that situation. Well, yeah.. that was definately the weirdest thing today.. er, all year so far. Besides that.. nothing too much really highlights. I may update later.. A small note... Theo is upset with me.. not tooo sure why. Melody went to youth group Saturday and enjoyed it at first but after thinking it over she felt a bit uncomfortable with the topic.. Dad found out I may want to move in with my ma and things are getting tense.. Crystal says Im a selfish brat... >_> Anyway, thats all for now.

Up in flames

Okay. Well. Yesterday before bible study we burned some wicca books and secular CD's. It felt good, kinda like closing that chapter of my life. I mean, a part of my was having a hard time getting rid of "Gorrilaz" "LFO" "Sum 41".. but I know it'll be for the best. Watching the Charmed books burn was kinda cool. I liked to watch the covers burn. The Cirlce of Three books were a bit harder to watch. They were well written and had interesting plots.. Ive wanted to re-read them for a long time, but I kept telling myself I couldnt. Now I cant. Also burned the Quija Board and some trading cards. It was hilarious watching that freaky quija board burn. It heated between the cardboard and the paper and started to implode. Hehe, squeaked a bit. Really cool. Well, yeah. Now Ive gotta burn the Dean Koontz, "T*Witches" and "Sweep" books, the charmed board games, rest of my trading cards, brake the charmed mug, and finish getting rid of some CD's. Then I'll be good for the most part. Besides the horribly sick movies Dad wont let us trash.. I wont even mention names. Well, on that note sort of...Dad asked me for some money today. I asked what for and he told me for groceries.. I knew he was lying because he paused a second to think of some things to say. I knew he was going to buy cigs. Well, later when I asked for 2 quarters to do my laundry, he was like "Oh, so its okay for me to give you money but you cant loan me a little until Friday. Thats really selfish of you" And Im just like Oh P-L-ease!I need 50 cents for laundry so I have clothes to wear to school.. he wants $10.00 to buy cigaretts that will kill us all.. Hm, same thing he says. I dont think so. Whatever. I just said hes the parent and hes supposed to supply money for laundry.. he had nothing to say to that. Goodness.. I kinda wanna' move in with Ma like I said before but I dont even know if Id like it there. Plus she works nights, and would have to stop paying child support which has to be done through court. So if I were to act on my thoughts, Id have to be serious about it. I gotta figure things out first. Dont really know what to do right now. Just been praying over it and hopefully the Lord will show me His will in my home life soon. Definately gonna' need guidance on this one.

Family Trouble [ Focus on the Lord ]

Before I start, I need to remember to "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths" -Proverbs 3:5-6
Oh man. Things are getting..really nuts. Okay, school is fine. Church is great. Everything is fine until I come home. Dad is working at this..bar and grill like I mentioned before. Crystal has got work at Jewel and school and shes just, stressing out to the maximum and talking about skipping bible study, among all the other things she can drop to have time. HELLO? God is above her art career.. God will provide for her if she'd just go to Him with it. Then theres Dad. "Oh yeah, Im christian. Stupid *** **** driver! What the **** is wrong with you?!" Like seriously, GROW UP! Im so sick of trying so hard and getting no where. I have been trying soo hard to stop with sarcasm. But when Dad calls me stinking ugly (i.e. look in the mirror! -sarcasm- or saying we need to dress more like girls because our clothes are ugly) Gee, thats real encouraging. Plus, he should be thanking God were not dressing like hoochie momma's. But no..he wants us to be more wordly. Wont stop smoking, wont stop swearing, wont stop watching dirty crap on TV. How can I blind myself from sin when I live with it? I dont know, but lately Ive really been considering the thought of possibly moving out. Sounds real set-in-stone huh? Nah. Ma has mensioned it before, but I have a dog and she has two cats. We could work it out and a part of me really wants to move in with her because we get alone now, shes christian, she has rules, and she doesnt live a life of sin. Problem. She works over night. There are legal issues. Nobody would ever allow it. So what do I do? Im going to pray really hard. Like right now, after bible study...I was so in a good mood. I was fine all day, really up lifted, etc. Then I get home, Dads sittin' here smoking with his waitress friend Helina and telling me to "stop b******' at him about swearing and smoking". Nice.. Wooh, Im so burdened down right now about my Dad, like I cant even take it anymore. And I didnt even say whats going on with Crystal.. Her attitude. Cranky-ness. Snappy-ness. GR! Okay, okay. Im done writing about this. Whatever. Pray about it please, people. Its greatly appreciated. Also, about sarcasm.. "A soft answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger" Proverbs 15:1

Sophomore

Well, I started school on the 25th. The first day was..well, a bit weird for me. I wasn't really nervous, that wasn't it. But I spent all summer with my cousins and the people at my church and now Im just thrown into school with all these people who dont know the Lord. I thought I was ready, and I still think It'll be fine but it was all still a bit overwhelming. Like, seeing all the people from last year that I forgot about over the summer and really realizing how intimidating it would be if the whole class started mocking me about the Lord. When Im at home, like now, I feel like I could handle it fine, but when Im sitting in class it really a completely different atmosphere. I know the tone will soften as weeks go by and I get more comfortable with the new people though. Anyway, Photography 1 in first block was cool so far. The 2007 (sophomores. ME) have been having problems getting situated in the BRAND new computer for the photo lab. They are so nice, so fast, and completely BRAND new. Were the first to use them which is pretty cool. Hopefully they'll get all the glitches out of the system so we can really get working. Tomorrow were supposed to have our first photoshoot. Hope I dont get camera shy. Hehe. My 2nd class, Art/ Drawing was okay. I sit by this very outgoing, loud girl named Nicole. Shes really nice though. We were talking a bit, getting to know eachother by her request, ^_^ , and I mentioned that I had gone to NYC with my youth group this past summer. Nicole told me she was in a youth group with her church (starts with Calvary I think but she didnt exactly tell me the name of her church). Her church just finished redecorating and she said the youth area rocks. That sounds really cool, I cant wait until our youth room gets decorated. It will rock even more! Woop woop. lol. She also said she went on a mission trip somewhere in illinois, but couldnt remember where. ::shrug:: Its cool though. I mean, she swears a lot but..maybe she just doesnt know why its wrong? I dont know but shes nice. Lunch, well, I got attacked by a group of people I knew last year. Well, I actually only knew 3 of the 4, but the fourth Id seen around. Anyway, then 4 of my other friends came and sat with me as two of the girls got up, so we ran out of room at the table and me and Tiff left. Peter said hi to me. Juana. Tiff. Mel. Jared. Kim B. Greg. Alyssa. Vicki. Saloni. Jimmy. Sara. ::shrug:: Lots more hellos but I cant remember. Lol. It was cool though. Um, 3rd block.. DUN DUN DUNNNNN! Special Study Hall in room 56. Eek, it was so boring the first day, even when he gave us a chance to talk. Today was a bit more interesting. I finished my bible study and finished Isaiah FINALLY. Then this girl came in an hour late, her cell went off and she denied it (er. I guess it was hers, dont really know for sure) and then she walked out of the room after being told she couldnt and went to the bathroom. Yeeh, it was interesting though, to listen to while staring down at my bible trying not to...listen in? Hah, even though the whole class heard, oh well. Fourth block geometry.. My teacher talks to us like babies. But shes really nice, and so far the class is really easy. Ah well, the days go by long but things are going fine. Im really crabby at home though, dont know why. Haha. Dad is trying to get a job at.. uhhh. OH, Bungalo Joes..the bar. He'd work..Saturday, Sunday mornings.. SUNDAY MORNINGS. Missing church. Dude, and Crystal supports it. Gr, whatever. Jesses keeps calling at like.. 2am but I just hang up the phone.. Its like, dude.. its 2am! Dont call. Oh well, I could care less at this point.. he only calls when he has something to brag about or some sin he has to get off his chest. Umm .OH OH! Me and Crystal have a new administrator this year. Last year ours was really mean and..just.. rude. But now there is this lady and shes so nice. When I was walking up to the school she saw my hoodie and was lik "oh my gosh, I love that!" So we talked to her today on the way in and she said she is a christian, so things seem to be really good with that. I have to find out about H20 (name will be changed when I get to it) club for christians. I want to build it up.. Pray about it please.. I have a strong desire about this, I may write more about it later but, until something starts happening.. Just pray for the Lord to open the doors in school. I am for all you guys, Erik, Eric, Ryan, Dan, Julia, Julia.. (yes, college too.. ^_^ ) So, anyway. Talked to mom.. gonna' go home with her tuesday, maybe see a movie. Im going for.. Baby Geniuses 2 or Princess Diaries 2. We'll see what were all in the mood for. Anyway, I have to go finish reading "Star Girl" and look over my math homework. God bless.

Baby Ethan

Okay. Well, a lot has kind of been going on lately. Me and Theo got into this argument kind of. You can read his journal at http://holylight.blogspot.com if you want to hear his side of it. But basically, I got really sick of..::sigh:: ill just say events that were reacurring. I was dealing with some greif in my life (Tobi mostly) and the frusteration he gave me blew up. I told him how I really felt, he wrote how he felt and that was it. Most of the week I just let myself get caught up in so much frusteration. Like, just thinking about the situation would get me so mad I wanted to cry because I could get rid of that feeling. Finally, yeterday I just got down before God and told Him that I could not handle this alone. Id been trying to all week and it was so obviously not working. So through a lot of prayer and bible reading I just got back to this point where I realize theres no reason to make myself get like that. I talked to Theo and cleared the air. When I think about everything, still there is a little bit in me that gets frusterated but thankfully now I catch it and just pray about it before I let it get hold of the rest of my day. The weirdest thing though, and the biggest reason I decided to even make a post about this, is that the discussion in Roots danced around this entire thing. I mean, exactly what Ive been going through; letting the frusteration get to you and not seeking the Lord.. Then finally going to Him and being okay. It was like.. ::shakes head:: so crazy. Jill realized it because she knew the situation and Crystal realized it. We were all just like.. woah. I was laughing so hard (inside) during the whole study because it was like God was telling me every single thing that Id been through. Like, oh man. It was nuts. At this point I feel a bit spiritually exhausted. And I hurt, so I took 2 vykadin (sp?) and Im about to go to sleep, or atleast try.
On a side note, I met baby Ethan two times! Heidi and Jason came to Roots and I saw them at the BBall game. I missed them a lot. Also, we might be having mini missions in Chicago during the winter. Were praying about it but I hope things work out. Crystal got 3 jobs.. Panera Bread, Big Straw, and Jewel.. She chose Jewel and is trying to get me the Big Straw job. We'll see. well, Like I said, I hurt so Im heading out.

The New York Team in a Candy Store

Evangalism 101

Last night I was up until 2:30 am chatting with this guy I met a long time ago in a chatroom I think. We didnt talk for a really long time and even when we did we barely, if ever, had a real conversation. Well, lately he started IM'ing me and I just figured he was bored but it turned out he had something he wanted to talk about and it came out last night. Apparantly his friend got him into practicing chi. (I think thats a middle eastern/asian practice when you draw energy from things.) He sent me to a site to get a better understanding of what it was and when I got there, it was soo dark. Talking about being vampires and just, totally pagan. There was actually a link about using darkness to fight child abuse..? Doesnt make sense to me, but oh well. We talked from 12:00 until 2:30, just about religion and all this stuff. I asked him a lot of questions, and he answered in honesty Im pretty sure. The coolest thing was when he said he had this empty feeling inside. This is how that part of the conversation went:

Him: as the site says, there are awakening periods. I might not be a vampire, I might be-- I dont know. What I do know is that I have a taste for energy because even now I feel the lack there off. When I center, or feed from a person..I feel a tingling feeling..but it feels good...feels right. When my "hunger"..its a tingling..but it feels empty..

Him: I know its dangerous, hence why I am careful..VERY careful, until I fully understand.

Me: Yeah..I know exactly about the hunger feeling.. wanting to fill it.. and it always being there..

Me: But, I found something that filled it completely.. and im always 100% satisfied.. its amazing really

Him: ok..soo..what is it you found?

Me: Oh..well, this is going to sound so stupid to you and you will probably roll your eyes. But, I found God.. It took me 14 years.. and the three last ones were... nuts.. I was cutting myself.. just, doing some pretty crazy things. But, by the end of all the pain I found God and he brought me up out of it all.

Him: I dont think its stupid at all. Some people find that is what the need, others require more.

Me: More? How do you mean?

Him: like--they might have god in there life, but they might still feel empty. So many things fit to ones needs. I know it sounds greedy, but in truth, humans in general are greedy

So, it went on from there but I just thought it was so interesing. Im not sure if I said anything that really, popped.. Nothing that could shoe him Christs love. I felt like I was a babbling fool, but maybe God brought him to me to plant seeds? I dont know, but when I was searching that site man, it was so tempting. Like, little thoughts were in my head just being like "ooh, vampires.. draw energy.. ooh, fun" and it took me so much to just ignore it and pray. I thought it was so crazy how satan was trying to get at me so obviously and the thoughts were still there. I know I dont want to be involved in that stuff and its crazy how satan plants things in us that poke us right where were potentially weak. Thankfully, I have God on my side and He can fight it off for me, and He did. Well, that was cool. But besides that, I got up at about 8:30 (I actually got to sleep at 3:30 am) so I was pretty tired. Church was good, Tony taught again. After church Crystal, Ryan, and me hung out at Eriks house before the street evangelism. Sonja and I teamed up and got in a conversation with this girl, Katie. Her life was just so hard. We talked to her for about 2 hours..the whole time we were there. A part of me was just thinking like.. is this really productive? I mean, I brought up God a few times and she told us a bit about what she knew but she didnt seem too interested in talking about it. She said she wants to know who Jesus is, and she said she believes in him. Said she saw the Passion movie and was totally torn apart, but I think a part of her is just holding back. Maybe in fear, or I dont know what. But she finally had to leave and the rest of the group was waiting for us so yeah. Right before Sonja and I started praying for her she ran up and asked for our numbers. We gave them to her and she just told us how much fun she had talking to us, and that we were really her friends. It was cool because right when I started to think that she wasnt the one we were supposed to be talking to the whole time, God just told me He has us do what He wants us to, and He will do His will with anyone we talk to. So, maybe we need to plant more seeds.. maybe she just needed someone to listen to her, show her that people do care. Maybe she'll contact us, maybe not. Just pray for her anyone, she has a rough life and needs the Lord in it. Anyway, Im exausted so Im out. Write later.

Sophomore
So, again Im getting pestered to update more. It seems like that is how the last few posts have started. All the same, nothing too much is new. On Sunday after church we will be going to this carnival for families in North Lake as another street evangalism. Im excited, I loved the last one. Ma' wont be able to do it because she works Saturday and Sunday nights now but she is going to Monday proverbs study. Her days off switched to Monday and Tuesday which is good in a way because she can live more normally. Though, now at church its hard for her to stay awake and listening, let alone being able to make it. Hopefully she will be awake enough to come this week. Youth group is tonight; were holding it at the church building because Heidi and Jason are taking care of baby Ethan. I dont think they will be leading youth group for awhile. But Im kinda glad were going back to the church for youth group, hopefully that will last a while because it's easier to tell people where we meet if we are in an actual building, so thats good. Um, mom called me at 2:00 pm today. I was still in bed because I didnt even go to sleep until 6:30 am (I was watching Secondhand lions, which was really good. I loved it.) Anyway, we were talking a bit. Im going to her house Tuesday because she has another meeting with her landlord and she doesnt like to be alone with him, so ill be going over again.


First Semester
1A Photography 1&2-TLB-123
1B Photography 1&2 TLB 123
2A Art Drawing Print -C2S -130
2B Art Drawing Print -C2S -130
3A Special Study Hall-GPA-056
3B Special Study Hall-GPA-056
4A PL/ Solide Geom. - KJN-226
4B PL/ Solide Geom. - KJN-226

Second Semester
1A Photography 1&2-TLB-123
1B Photography 1&2 TLB 123
2A Art Drawing Print -C2S -130
2B Art Drawing Print -C2S -130
3A Journal Writing 1-DLC-046
3B Jounral Writing 1-DLC-046
4A PL/ Solide Geom. - KJN-226
4B PL/ Solide Geom. - KJN-226

Third Semester
1A Earth Science- BTS- 237
1B Earth Science-BTC- 237
2A PE 2 - S L - GYM
2B PE 2 - S L - GYM
3A E208 English 2-R2C-258
3B E208 English 2-R2C-258
4A Seminar - DLY - CAFE
4B Seminar - DLY - CAFE

Fourth Semester
1A Earth Science- BTS- 237
1B Earth Science-BTC- 237
2A PE 2 - S L - GYM
2B PE 2 - S L - GYM
3A E208 English 2-R2C-258
3B E208 English 2-R2C-258
4A Cons. Education-FWB-043
4B Cons. Education-FWB-043

So yeah.. people email me at xxcrimsoncryxx@cs.com if you have something with me.. otherwise just enjoy the 5 minutes I put into typing it up. Welp, gotta get ready for youth group so Im out.

Snyders Honey Mustard & Onion Pretzel Bites
It has been a few days since I last updated so here goes. I read my last post and I realized how personal it was. I dont know why I wrote that and I was actually about to delete the entire post but I decided that just isn't right. So whatever, I'll let people make of it what they will. ::Sigh:: On a better note I finished painting the living room green. It's very bright. The first day was fun, jamming to classical music and all. Day two was not as fun but still okay. It was all good until I got to the ceiling, at which point I wanted to cry. My muscles hurt so bad and it was like the paint wasnt going on. I would roll the paint on, but barely anything showed up, so it was very frusterating. Personally, I like it. The only flaws I see are that the ceiling is blotchy (which looks somewhat cool) and the edges are lighter. But it's all good because its done, bright, and fun. "Amelie" meets "Pride and Prejudice." But anyway. I went out with my mom today; we went to K-Mart where I got Snyder pretzels and two posters. One is for "The Butterfly Effect" and one is a cross with a verse from Luke on it. So that was pretty cool. Then we went to "Barnes and Noble" and she bought me a book called "The Threshhold" by Bill Myers. The guy at the register said it was a good book so I'm looking forward to reading it. I actually wanted to get "The Arena" which I heard a lot about (it was being compared to "The Last Guardian" which I love much. ) So now I am back at home. I hung up my posters and now I am just waiting for 6:30 to come when we will leave for youth group. I think after youth group were all going out to IHOP with some of the youth. That could be fun because this time Dad gave us each $10.00, but I am not about to spend my money on food! Eck, no thanks. It will be good though. Speaking of (sort of) I realized the thing I struggle with a lot, the thing that stumbles me. Not music like so many people, and not movies. Books. Yes, those things with like a million sheets of paper stacked up and binded together. That is what stumles me. Those ancient things people used to small fonts in and fill the pages with long words. You see, when I read I like to really get into the book and try and relate to the character. I think I like to pretend I am the main character and imagine Im going through everything they are. (Thats what everyone does, right?) Well, the problem with that is some of the books I read have the main characters as psycho murderers. (I.E. Books by Dean Koontz) It stinks because he is a good writer and all his books are so out there crazy, its intriguing. I have about 1 of his books and about 5 of them I have yet to read. I really want to, but I know the last time I was reading his books I got in a dark mood more often. Im not sure if the books are to blame but I figure it didnt help pull me out of the pit. Then there is my "Circle of Three" series. It was interesting and I want to re-read them but I know it cant help me in my walk with God so why bother I guess. Charmed is kind of out of the picture for the most part. Sometimes I'll see the new merchandise, like the new action figures and the new game and new books that I really want to buy but then I remember I dont like Charmed. I think after 5 years of being obsessed it's a bit harder to get over than I thought. The show is interesting and easy to watch. I dont feel like it stumbles me, reading the books or watching the show, but like so many people keep telling me, if it doesnt draw me closer to God its not something I should be doing. I really dont know, I guess Im just in a slump. Besides that...I am doing alright. I have to catch up in the bible reading and my proverbs study though. Okay, lastly there is just school. I want to lose a few pounds before it starts, hopefully 10 lbs is realistic enough. Not really to pick up a guy, like I said before that not what Im looking into anymore, but just, to be confident I guess. To fit into clothes better, be healthy, blah blah. lol. For the first half of the year I have to work out hard anyway to stay in shape for gym in the second half of the year. Guh, apparantly there is more on my mind than I thought there was when I began this post. Just one more thing to say and then I will shut up. Today in the car on the way to K-Mart, mom started talking about this movie she rented and how it reminded her of Tobi. -_- When will people get that I dont want to talk about it?! Its been almost an exact year since it happened -August 27th.. :-( - She was bringing up some old stories about him and I just had to tell her to be quiet. She followed in saying "yeah.. he really was just your dog.. you guys were close. He was like your best friend, huh?" I dont know why she got into that, but I just ignored it and changed the subject. Ive been thinking about him a lot lately but I didnt think anyone else was. Im about to say another personal thing and Im already debating whether or not to say it! lol. I have issues. Okay, I guess I was just going to say that the main and real reason Ive been so down, letting things get to me so easily is because Ive been thinking about him so much lately. I miss him. A lot. But oh well. Im done writing when the tears come. lol. Until next time.

Delivery for Heidi
Well, I havent updated in "a long time" according to an un named commenter (THEO! lol) So Im updating. Lets see. Hes here now, and him and Crystal are watching some show on Cartoon Network. Futurama I think? No idea. Okay, updates. I think the biggest thing that happened was Tuesday night. Me and Crystal went out to see "The Terminal." I felt soo sick but I was not about to let that stop me from seeing the movie Id been waiting to see for a long time, like a month I'd estimate. The movie rocked and I was in a pretty good mood when it let out. We were heading toward the door when we saw outside the window that it was raining, hard. Thunder roarded, lightening struck, it was all very annoying. We were stuck. Crystal checked her cell phone and saw that the Rods had called so she called back only to find out that Heidi went into labor, a month early. We just started praying, almost crying. We were freaking out actually. But everything turned out fine. Heidi had to have a c section thingie, but baby Ethan is fine and yeah, thank the Lord for that. Besides that, I have just been writing a lot I guess; working on my book entitled "Rock Beats Scissors" Im not going to give any details about it away just yet, but soon enough. Well, on a more personal level, things have gone good. In the last post I think I was saying that Id been struggling with not dating and just wanting a boyfriend. Well, that feeling really didnt go away, in fact it just kept getting worse. I was getting a little down in the dumps, but the good news will come. Praise Report. I saw Theo, and all the struggles hes been having with dating and just getting himself in messes with the girl he loves. Ive seen the stress he gets under and the frusteration he can feel dealing with it all. Ive also noticed what a distraction it is for him. Then my friend Sara who just got her heart broken from this guy she'd known for about 2 years or a little more. Then I talked to Jesse last night (First time in about 2 or 3 weeks) and he has a girlfriend. Shes having some eating problems and shes kinda, obsessively in love with him it seems. Or no, wrong words. She just is moving too fast; not to mention she doesnt know the Lord. So I suppose the point Im trying to make is that I am cheating on the one I love. All these thoughts of wanting a boyfriend and just not being content in everything I have has been completely foolish. I have obviously not been trusting in the Lord 100% otherwise I wouldnt gotten myself into all this. But yes, I am fine now. I have the guy I need and want and I couldnt as for more; really, Hes absolutely perfect; I love Him with all my heart. Okay, if anyone is confused, Im talking about Jesus. He is my boyfriend. Lol. It sounds weird to a lot of people Im sure, but Ive heard speakers talk about making God your spouse. And, I must admit it makes me feel a lot better. I feel like Im finally just trusting in the Lord with all my heart. Though, things arent peachy yet. The problem is, I dont feel anymore! lol. Well, its weird and kind of hard to explain. Just like, people complain, or whine, or just say silly things about being discontent (myself included) and it gets me so frusterated, or almost even worse, I dont care. If someone is discontent I am so fast to brush it off and tell them "to just let it go and deal with it" I dont think Ive been giving good advise and I need to take a day and just focus on the Lord, hear what He is telling me and really listen. I need to. I need to... But, do I want to? Hah, Im lazy. I always make an excuse. Pray for me, anyone who reads this, if you can. Just that God will give me strength to turn to Him in all situations and not rely on my own understanding. Also just that I'll hear what He is telling me and I'll trust in Him that He knows best, as I know He does. Well, anyway. Right now Im talking to Peter, hes having me listen to this band called "Wilco" Im about to read some of their lyrics, you know, see what theyre all about. But they seem pretty cool on my first take of them. Speaking of music, theres this rapper named Kanye (sp?) West. He sings this song called Jesus Walks. Everyone is all "wooh!" about it and the song sounds awesome, but I read the lyrics and there are some swears. I dont know, is that okay? It says in the bible to not allow the tongue to be vile. Same with that rapper Denum; some of his lyrics rock but he swears sometimes. Is it okay? Well, Im off to read some lyrics. Later.

Taking my own advise

 

For the past few months I, and a few other firls I know, have been struggling with dating and having relasionships.  Ive never been in one and for awhile it was getting hard.  Ive been watching chick flicks (i.e. A Cinderella Story and Pride and Prejudice) and it has got my moods down.  Not to mention being over weight.. Well, for the past few days Ive stuck pretty strong to liquid days. Drinking all day and only eating dinner.  Also, I have been biking until I got to 700-1000 calories burnt each day.  I have not weighed myself but I know if I keep this up I'll lose some weight. The problem is, I know my motives are not right.  They are not for God.. Its mostly to be healthy.. I want to be healthy. I dont want to fit into Chicagos percentiles of over weight people.  I want to fit into clothes.  I think a small part of it, like 10% is for guys.. like, wanting a boyfriend.  But then I know at this point I would not date anyone.  Well, Ive just been really struggling lately with it all.  Ive had some really frusterating hours, and some really content hours.  Right now, Im inbetween. I ate a hotdog and fries and corn for dinner.. but when I added up the calories it was under the ammount I worked off.  So, I feel pretty good. Crystal is out with Jaq E, Jules, Reese, and Christen in Chicago.  I wanted to go but Ma said she wanted me to come over, so I told the girls I couldnt today.  Mom brought me back home by 3:45 pm and since then Ive been stuck home, sulking.  I suppose the best thing for me to do now is focus on the word.  Im not content. I want a new computer. (Everytime I go to a site and start to find what Im looking for it freezes. Or when Im in the middle of typing a story) This house we live in feels so dirty, no matter how hard I try to clean it.  I just want a clean escape. Gr. New York.. that felt so good, to get completely away for a week and focus on the Lord. That was awesome.  I was on top of the mountain, and I guess now Im climbing again. This always happens to me after I have a high point in my walk.. I know it will pass. And, just thinking that now makes me feel a lot better. :-) :Long sigh:: Things will be fine.  I tell myself that a lot lately.  "Things will be fine." Over and over whenever I get discontent.  Wooh, that makes me feel good. Lol. Well, anyway.  I bought some film for my camera.  Ive been taking pictures.  Hopefully I'll be able to scan them and post them on here after I get them developed.  I hope they come out the way Im picturing them in my head. Hehe. Well, Ive got a lot of picture ideas in my head, a lot of movie scenes to make in my head (for my books), and a lot of poem ideas scrambled up.  I havent gotten much of anything layed out so its eating away at me. I know thats what I gotta do.. DUH Naomi! Write! Gr, sometimes I wonder about myself. Well, Im off to write.

Dance Fest Car Show
 

Yesterday evening we did the street evangelism; Crystal, me, Leo, Darren, John, Jason, Brian, Erik, Julie H, Tammy, and Kathy.  It went really well I thin.  Right when we got there Kathy pulled me over to talk to this group of goth kids.  They seemed like they felt really awkward so I told them to come to our youth group and that it was really fun.  But their friends had left so they had to go.  Throughout the night I saw them a few times, but it wasnt until a few hours later that I actually got to talk to them.  These two boys were asking me about the kind of music I listen to.  I told them I listen to all kinds but I mentioned christian heavy metal.  Rackets and Drapes, Kutless, Skillet.  Those were the basic bands I told them about.  I kept telling them that were not the kind of church that listens to light music. I think they were pretty interested in what we were saying. I think they would come but I really cant tell.  If I were them Id feel way too awkward, like I were imposing or something.  I just really hope they do.  One of the boys said he was going to burn in hell, and that he had comitted horrible sins that could never be forgiven.  I started telling him there was no sin that couldnt be forgiven but Im not sure if he really believed me.  I know the Lord allowed me to plant seeds though, there were many other people I talked to.  Like these three guys Chris, Anthony and Chris.  One of the Chris' seemed really interested in coming and he said he'd definately be seeing us next week on Sunday morning.  Oh man, anyone who reads this please just pray that the Lord will open the doors to them to come. I had my first real conversations last night and I feel so accomplished.  I cant wait to get out there and witness again.  I just need to remember every person I see is a soul to be saved.  Something happened in the past few days that really hit home for me.  This lady, Winnie, was killed by her husband, as was her four year old son.  My mom worked with Winnie.  Same department I think.  She say this lady everyday, and never talked to her about God.  We dont know if she was saved, and that is really hard to deal with when you know you could have talked to them.  I know it wasn't me, because I never met her, but its the same way with people at school, or anywhere for that matter.  It really set my mind straight on the way I need to look at things.

 

Well, Theo... Ah, I dont even know what to do.  He prayed the prayer that morning, monday...but I dont know.  I warned him the devil would attack and that he really needed to stay in Gods word strongly, considering he didnt have christians out there to keep him accountable.  By going by what he wrote in his journal, I feel like satan is really getting to him and hes not staying on guard.  I called him last night to see if he wanted to sleepover and go to youth group and church, because he wanted to earlier this week and Darren offered to drive him.  But when I called he said he was going to Minnesota this weekend so he couldnt.  I was fine with that, but I had to go because we were walking to the street fair and I could barely hear him so I said so and then bye.  I thought it was fine but in his journal he said he was annoyed. I dont know but everyone just pray for him because its so obvious hes not staying strong.  I want to think he is, but I can see, just going by that journal entry hes struggling.  Maybe it was just the moment he was writing and was venting, I hope thats all. But being away all weekend, its going to be hard to fight off satan while not reading the bible, not being around christians, and not having christian music around to listen to.  I know he has God but as he said in his journal, he still has doubts. :-(  Pray guys, please.  I know the Lord can work in him and guard him but he needs to want that also.  I dont know where hes at anymore and it worries me.  ::long sigh:: Pray..

- On the road again -  

I was reading some of my old posts and I got myself wondering why I write the way I do.  If I want to be a writer, which I obviously do, why dont I spice things up a bit? Be more creative? So, that is precisely what I am going to do; or atleast try. I am not sure how yet but we'll just have to see. So, I'll start off with what I've been thinking sinse I haven't been writing much about that lately.
 
While looking through some blogs, I found one inparticular called "Stepping Into the Fog."  http://benjaminprice.blogspot.com/  I liked the title and decided to take a little peek.  Turned out the person writing the blog was a follower of Jesus Christ.  What he wrote about, why humans were created to glorify God, really made me think.  As I was posting a comment on his site, the thought just kind of flew from my head to my fingers and onto the screen.  I dont even recall thinking it, but I guess it was a lingering thought. Obviously God created us to glorify Him.  But then, as many people wonder, maybe there is something else.  There must be, right? Well, as I was about to say we wont know until we get to heaven, the words formed on the screen.  Maybe in the overall scheme of things, Gods plan for creating humans will eventually play out in the destruction of satan.  I dont know why humans would be needed in the process of anything like that.  I dont think there are any biblical references to anything of the sort, but like I said, the thought went straight through the thinking process and onto the screen.  It's interesting though.  I dont know if it could even be a possibility... Though, it kind of seems possible to me.  I mean, after the rapture and the seven years of tribulation God says there will be a battle between Him and satan in which He will be victorious.  Could it be the human race was somehow needed for this all to play out the right way? The world may never know..
 
On another note.  Crystal got a job finally.  She will be making phonecalls all day, I think trying to sell this package of 180 CD's for a year; something of that sort.  She'll make $10-15 an hour..but most likely $10.00 as she is starting off.  I can already see it is going to cut into all the events we have going with our church; i.e. bible studies such as the proverbs study, and the womans study with Heidi and the rest of the girls.  And the street evangelism on Friday in Franklin Park.  Maybe the youth groups on Wednesday and Saturday evenings.  Who knows?  All I know is God is faithful and He gave her this job for a reason.  She met a girl on the interview today who was also applying for the job.  Her name was Jessica (I think) and she had a really really rough life. Raped by her own cousin and abused by her father.  I think Crystal said this girl does drugs and swears a lot..obviously that's expected.  I can see the Lord placed this all right in the palm of her hands so she can be an awesome witness and reach out to this girl.  I can not wait to see how Crystal's new job affects her spiritual walk. Will it help her grow, or stumble her? Maybe both?
 
I have been viewing my life like a movie lately.  I can take moments and slow them down, view them in black and white.  It's weird.  I feel like I can zoom in on certain things.  For example, the other day I saw a guy in a yellow short-sleeved blouse with a red tie and gray trousers and black shiney shoes. He held a black suitcase in one hand and a cigarette in the other.  I saw this in color, but in moments, my eyes slowed down the breeze that made his tie blow off to the side, and I could see him in a black and white sort of state.  Slow motion in a way.  I saw clouds of smoke blow off to the side of him and him turn slowly.  We made eye contact for a brief second, and then the stop light changed to green and we drove off.
 
When I was a younger kid, I used to wonder why we always drove on the dark side of the road.  Infront of us, all I saw were the red break lights and over on the side I'd see the white/yellow head lights.  The head lights are obviously darker, and I wondered why we never did, or could not, drive on the light side.  I used to wonder if the bad people got put on the side we were always on.  I would look all around the road, trying to find ways to get around the road and drive on their side without going in the opposite direction.  I thought we could just mosey on over and still drive our way, except face the lights.  Though as I got older I realized that would only cause trouble. -Head on collision- So, I now know we cant drive on the light side.  In the past week I tried to relate my thoughts to a spiritual thing.  I dont know why, but I'd been thinking about my childhood thoughts on the road and I figured why not try and relate the two?  So, the first thought that came to mind was how it says in the bible to walk in the dark and be the light.  Well, there are lights on the front of our car too. We can drive in the dark and be a light. 

- Saved - 

 

Well, the weekend was eventful. Friday morning through Monday Morning Theo slept over. Friday we went to Jewel and has the weirdest experience. We were in the check out lines and we split up for optimum time effiency.  Whichever line moved faster.  Well, mine was so I called him over but the guy behind me was like "Oh no..I dont think so.. no no" And I was in shock..I said "Well..I mean, hes with me..." The guy started laughing and said hes just kidding.  He said were supposed to say "bread and butter!" when were in two lines like that and one makes it first.  So, he started talking to us and telling us really weird things.  He asked if we were a couple and I said we were brother and sister. Lol. Close enough.  It was very humerous.. There was a TV guide picture for this new movie "Anchorman" and Theo asked me if I had seen previews for it.  I said no, and I dont want to see it because the TV guide looked dirty.  The guy behind us said "What? Dirty? Oh no...thats nothing. I walk around the house in a speedo. One time the old lady walked in. I mean, if you got it, flaunt it."  It was so funny! I could not believe it. This 60-70 year old man was telling us about walking around in a speedo! Lol.  Never in my life.... haha.  

 

Well, anyway, that evening we saw " I, Robot" which was pretty good..just a one time see movie though.  Then we went to Tiffanys for an hour and then to my cousins. We all (Theo, Crystal, Jill, Jax, and me) went to the carnival by their house.  I'd say there were two highlights that night.  One, this rapper, The "Dennius Weilman" project (Denum) preformed some songs.  They were about God, so we talked to him and he gave us two free CD's which was really cool. Though, after listening to some of his other songs we found hes not entirely all for Gof in his lyrics.  The next thing was on the walk back to the car; Theo was doing cartwheels.  He did about 8 in a row, but then ran into a bush!! HAHA! I forgot to tell him it was in his path. So he fell on his butt then just jumped up and said "Im good." Ah, it was great.  

 

 Saturday we went to Christens party.  Also very eventful.  I talked with Theo about God and he told me what all he was thinking.  Where he was at in his search for the right religion.  He was telling me how wicca wasnt feeling..right anymore.  But still he had his doubts about christianity.  But, the downside was...we ended up taking a walk, and by the time we got back they had sent out 6 people to look for us. It was kinda a big thing because half the group had already left for Roots. Things turned out okay though..its over now.  

 

 Sunday. Church and the concert.  Church for Theo wasnt too good. He kinda tuned it all out.  His favorite part was when Judy came and talked to him after service.  Then Julia handed him a note. The concert was awesome.  We missed KJ-52 which bit the big one! I was really upset, as was Jill. But we got there just in time to see Skillet who rocked! Though they preformed the same songs as last time. Matthew West was great.  Same songs from Festival I think..maybe a few more.  He didnt play my favorite but it was really touching. I really liked his preformance.  My next favorite was Audio Adrenaline.  They were amazing. Im definately going to go out and get their CD. They gave this speach about going all the way for God and being ready to make the ultimate sacrifice.  It rocked.    The highlight and most amazing thing that happened this weekend was that Theo accepted Christ into his heart!!!!!!!!!!! He prayed the prayer this morning.. Everyone is so happy! Jackie, Jill, Jules, Erik, everyone! This is so amazing! Yet again I see the Lord answer specific prayer! YAY!