Taking my own advise

 

For the past few months I, and a few other firls I know, have been struggling with dating and having relasionships.  Ive never been in one and for awhile it was getting hard.  Ive been watching chick flicks (i.e. A Cinderella Story and Pride and Prejudice) and it has got my moods down.  Not to mention being over weight.. Well, for the past few days Ive stuck pretty strong to liquid days. Drinking all day and only eating dinner.  Also, I have been biking until I got to 700-1000 calories burnt each day.  I have not weighed myself but I know if I keep this up I'll lose some weight. The problem is, I know my motives are not right.  They are not for God.. Its mostly to be healthy.. I want to be healthy. I dont want to fit into Chicagos percentiles of over weight people.  I want to fit into clothes.  I think a small part of it, like 10% is for guys.. like, wanting a boyfriend.  But then I know at this point I would not date anyone.  Well, Ive just been really struggling lately with it all.  Ive had some really frusterating hours, and some really content hours.  Right now, Im inbetween. I ate a hotdog and fries and corn for dinner.. but when I added up the calories it was under the ammount I worked off.  So, I feel pretty good. Crystal is out with Jaq E, Jules, Reese, and Christen in Chicago.  I wanted to go but Ma said she wanted me to come over, so I told the girls I couldnt today.  Mom brought me back home by 3:45 pm and since then Ive been stuck home, sulking.  I suppose the best thing for me to do now is focus on the word.  Im not content. I want a new computer. (Everytime I go to a site and start to find what Im looking for it freezes. Or when Im in the middle of typing a story) This house we live in feels so dirty, no matter how hard I try to clean it.  I just want a clean escape. Gr. New York.. that felt so good, to get completely away for a week and focus on the Lord. That was awesome.  I was on top of the mountain, and I guess now Im climbing again. This always happens to me after I have a high point in my walk.. I know it will pass. And, just thinking that now makes me feel a lot better. :-) :Long sigh:: Things will be fine.  I tell myself that a lot lately.  "Things will be fine." Over and over whenever I get discontent.  Wooh, that makes me feel good. Lol. Well, anyway.  I bought some film for my camera.  Ive been taking pictures.  Hopefully I'll be able to scan them and post them on here after I get them developed.  I hope they come out the way Im picturing them in my head. Hehe. Well, Ive got a lot of picture ideas in my head, a lot of movie scenes to make in my head (for my books), and a lot of poem ideas scrambled up.  I havent gotten much of anything layed out so its eating away at me. I know thats what I gotta do.. DUH Naomi! Write! Gr, sometimes I wonder about myself. Well, Im off to write.