Tuesday, June 29 (3:45 PM New York Time)

I am so frusterated with all this drama right now. I can feel the devil working in me to just get distracted by all this. I know its not my job to take this frusteration because it says to turn your burdens to God and put them on His shoulder. Im not sure where it says that, but Ive heard it before. Honestly, I just want to cry..I feel disconnected from the group. Everyone has someone here theyre totally relating to and just getting closer to. Its not anyones fault but my own though, and I know that; which makes me feel even worse, knowing its my fault. Jackie was a bit frusterated too with the drama so she opened her bible and it was Matthew 21:21-23 Its about prayer. And I know at the end of the day nothing matters except where Im at with God, not with the youth or any other person. Guh. People are bugging me about eating. I dont like Italian Beef! Okay, so now I have to eat a sandwhich. Its fine, whatever.


Thursday, June 30 (8:05 AM new york time)

We went to the ferry today. That was cool. I sat with Erik, Eric, and Jax. I wasnt too excited to go on, but it was good. The thing is, I got on and was looking at the water and had a sort of flashback type thing about when I was younger and Tobi had fallen off this ferry we were on, on a vacation. So I was tugging on his leash, pulling him out from the water. He had seen a fish I guess and jumped in after it. I really wanted to cry, but I didn't. Well, Erik was telling me to go around to the other side and look at the stature of liberty. (I really wanted to see that the whole trip) Well, I told him I didnt want to, but he kept saying like "why not? its the statue of liberty..dont you want to see it..? etc" and I was just like 'no'. I kinda got the feeling he wanted me to leave so he could talk to Eric but he didnt say so. Anyway, he looked at me and was just like "Naomi,whats wrong?" And it seemed really sweet of him because nobody else had noticed I was sad, or that something was wrong. I didnt tell him what it really was, Tobi, because Eric was there and Jax would be coming back; I didnt want to end up talking about Tobi to a group because Ive barely talked about him with anyone at all anyway. So yeah. Anyway, at Statin Island we did the drama on the boardwalk. It turned out good. This one girl named Vanessa from Brooklyn Overcomers came and watched it with her friends. They were also handing out tracks. She was really nice and was out looking for more youth to join a youth group they wanted to stop. She seemed kinda'..I dont know how to say it..um, excited that there was a youth group out there reaching out to others. I think the fact that we came from Chicago to New York really encouraged her, that there is youth out there that wants to have a personal relasionship with God and have christian friends. Atleast, I hope it did. But it all turned out good. I wasnt nervous at all to do the drama, even though I didnt preform good at all. -__-