Monday, August 30, 2004

Family Trouble [ Focus on the Lord ]

Before I start, I need to remember to "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths" -Proverbs 3:5-6
Oh man. Things are getting..really nuts. Okay, school is fine. Church is great. Everything is fine until I come home. Dad is working at this..bar and grill like I mentioned before. Crystal has got work at Jewel and school and shes just, stressing out to the maximum and talking about skipping bible study, among all the other things she can drop to have time. HELLO? God is above her art career.. God will provide for her if she'd just go to Him with it. Then theres Dad. "Oh yeah, Im christian. Stupid *** **** driver! What the **** is wrong with you?!" Like seriously, GROW UP! Im so sick of trying so hard and getting no where. I have been trying soo hard to stop with sarcasm. But when Dad calls me stinking ugly (i.e. look in the mirror! -sarcasm- or saying we need to dress more like girls because our clothes are ugly) Gee, thats real encouraging. Plus, he should be thanking God were not dressing like hoochie momma's. But no..he wants us to be more wordly. Wont stop smoking, wont stop swearing, wont stop watching dirty crap on TV. How can I blind myself from sin when I live with it? I dont know, but lately Ive really been considering the thought of possibly moving out. Sounds real set-in-stone huh? Nah. Ma has mensioned it before, but I have a dog and she has two cats. We could work it out and a part of me really wants to move in with her because we get alone now, shes christian, she has rules, and she doesnt live a life of sin. Problem. She works over night. There are legal issues. Nobody would ever allow it. So what do I do? Im going to pray really hard. Like right now, after bible study...I was so in a good mood. I was fine all day, really up lifted, etc. Then I get home, Dads sittin' here smoking with his waitress friend Helina and telling me to "stop b******' at him about swearing and smoking". Nice.. Wooh, Im so burdened down right now about my Dad, like I cant even take it anymore. And I didnt even say whats going on with Crystal.. Her attitude. Cranky-ness. Snappy-ness. GR! Okay, okay. Im done writing about this. Whatever. Pray about it please, people. Its greatly appreciated. Also, about sarcasm.. "A soft answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger" Proverbs 15:1

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