Stuck

Well, today was a long day. We drove to visit Aunt Jenny, and to see baby Madison.....she's really cute. I played with Isabel for a long time.
We went grocery shopping. And got home at 9:30. I'll probably go into more detail about our drive to Jenny and Chris's, but right now..its not the time.

Because right now...it hit me...even if and when Dad comes home...things wont be the same..he wont ever be the same person he was when he went in. We probably wont ever go on a vacation anymore..atleast not like before...to Yogi Bear Jellystone Park...Crystal will be starting college in 2 years or so..
Well, I was in my room, petting Cleo, and it hit hard...that realization. I don't know why it took me this long to realize it..anyone who says things will be the same one day, is in serious denial! Well, anyway, I started crying, and I got that feeling again..it is one of the worst feelings ever...you only think it exists in movies or books until it happens..when, everything is so bad..that you just want to leave..but no matter where you go, its still there..and your stuck... -nobody really realizes what a horrible word 'stuck' is..- and, you feel alone..and just....stuck! There are no words to describe it..but I know, being only 14, I shouldn't have experienced it at all, let alone..3-4 times..

Its like...Im so busy trying to help everyone else...and yet, nobody is here for me. Yes, Crystal..but she probably feels just like I do. This whole situation blows.