Friendless
So, today was NOT the best day...I didn't talk to much of anyone. Tracie is mad at me..You see, she ended up getting an 85 on the project!!!!!!!! I got a 93 and Adal got a 92! Im happy with my scrore, but Tracie did NOTHING, I did all her work and she still passed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahh! That makes me mad. So, I said I was mad that she got a B, with reason, obviously....and shes like "fine, if your so mad I wont talk to you.." and I was like "fine, dont" and Adal goes to her and says "no tracie, i love you, talk to me!" lol. But yeah, so at this point I guess me and Tracie arent talking...And at lunch, this kid Paul from my Freshman Foundations class came and sat by me and said hi. Me and him were sitting against the lockers, and Cammy and a few other kids were standing infront of us. After I said hi to Paul...a few minutes later I stood and walked away because I hate it when people kinda' crowd around me...drives me nuts. (because at lunch people stand right infont of me and step on me like im not there...so, yeah) anyway, i feel horrible because I think Paul thought I didnt want to talk to him or something! AH! The thing is, I KIND OF...like Paul. I think its just the intial shock of him actually talking to me though. So, its nothing big AT ALL. He seem cool, though I dont know him..so if he doesnt like me, well, no harm done. heh. Anyway, today was also bad because Im starting to get jealous...jealous of all the people with phony friends...only because atleast for the time being, they have friends. I mean, I have friends, yeah. Linda, Megan, Peter, Adal, Colin..but I dont see Megan and Linda ever, Adal, well, I cant talk to him...were school friends, basically only talk when we have to work together...Peter, well, we dont talk much at all, too awkward always..and Colin, as I said, I cant talk to him, Im not comfortable....and I dont want to lay any more burdens on him than he already has to deal with. Plus, the only one of those people in my lunch is Colin...and he has a huge group of friends he hangs out with..so in which case, this leaves me alone. People think I like to be alone...but I dont. I dont like to be crowded around by people, like i cant move..but I love talking to people! If people actually took the time to get to know me and didnt abandon me the second I do or say something they dont like, maybe they would know this about me!!!!!!!! I seriously wish people would just....be my friend...