LAST day of summer 2005

Tomorrow is my first day of school. I thought this demanded some sort of update on my blog, so here goes: I went for my first driving lesson on Friday and it was a lot less scary than I built it up to be. It was actually rather fun, I liked it. Saturday I missed Ro0ts because Crystal had to work so I did not have a ride - not cool. So, instead of Ro0ts I watched "The Terminal" on HBO. [Love that movie!] On Sunday I went to church, which was good. I really liked Romans 14 [which was reccomended for the congregation to read] It put my thoughts about judgement into words. After church, I spent an hour thinking about some things and that was really good for me I think. I jotted down some of those thoughts and they're nice and organized now for me to present to a youth leader - and from there DISCUSS. lol. After church, I want on my second driving lesson. This time I did more of turning than before but still, not scary - just fun. That leaves me with Monday, today. I went to get my hair cut kinda like Ashlee Simpsons and it looks alright I guess. Thankfully, not much was taken off the length so the biggest difference is just that I have bangs. So, tomorrow is my first day of school. Crystal will be driving me and my Ma' will pick me up. Uhm, yeah... Im not excited nor nervous; it just is what it is. So, that's all folks!

Mat. 7:12-14  

My Junior Year Schedule

Semester One
1A Partners - RAK - Gym
1B Algebra 2 (314)– JAH - 230
2A DR-ED – M5L - 108
2B DR-ED – M5L - 108
3A Psychology – TAB – 064
Lunch: D
3B Psychology – TAB – 064
Lunch: D
4A Seminar – DLY - Cafe
4B Seminar – DLY - Cafe

Semester Two
1A Partners - RAK - Gym
1B Algebra 2 (314) – JAH - 230
2A Health Ed – KLA - 106
2B Health Ed – KLA - 106
3A Psychology – TAB – 064
Lunch: B
3B Psychology – TAB – 064
Lunch: B
4A Creative Comp – RBB - 046
4B Creative Comp – RBB - 046

Semester Three
1A Partners - RAK - Gym
1B Algebra 2 (314) – JAH - 230
2A English 308 – A1T - 269
2B English 308 – A1T - 269
3A US History – D2M – 063
Lunch: B
3B US History – D2M – 063
Lunch: B
4A Seminar – DLY – Café
4B Seminar – DLY – Café

Semester Four
1A Partners - RAK - Gym
1B Algebra 2 (314) – JAH - 230
2A English 308 – A1T - 269
2B English 308 – A1T - 269
3A US History – D2M – 063
Lunch: B
3B US History – D2M – 063
Lunch: B
4A Adv. Reading – A1T - 269
4B Adv. Reading – A1T - 269

Texas Trip 2005 

Goodbye Texas

August 14, 2005
So we’re back from Texas now. Overall, I could say the trip was good but if I were to get into detail I would say the trip was really challenging for me to get through. On the way home, I sat in back with JooRoo and Lindsey. Again, there is a lot I can say about the ride home, but so much is better left unsaid so all I will say is that it was good while it lasted but I’m glad to be home. At one point, in St. Louis, we got stuck in a bad storm [potential tornado] and I was freaking out. Lol, my fear of natural disasters got the better of me yet again but on the plus side, it entertained me for a good hour of the drive home. My theme song for the trip is “Crossing the Line” by Trust Company but my soundtrack to the trip is The Dark Forest CD. My books for the trip were Hebrews, Amos, and Obadiah. My verse for the trip was Hebrews 3:13, “But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness.”

Last Day in Texas

August 12, 2005
Today the two teams got together and shared some experiences we had in the Summer of Love. We found that the Chicago team had to learn consistency and commitment. After that, we split into two groups: JooRoo, Lindsey, David, Dan, Mrs. Hester, and myself went to the mall while Reese, Erik, Crystal, Paul, and Charity went to the JFK thing. Tonight, we went to Trail Dust for dinner. I got a HUGE salad which was really good. I danced for 2.5 seconds with Crystal but that was it. Afterwards, we went to the Rodeo. It was cool to go to once but I don’t think it’s my thing. During it, my mood was low and I think I was pretty rude to people, so I actually prayed in my head for a bit of the rodeo because I wanted my last day in Texas to be good. When we went back to the Judys to drop the guys off, I waited in the car and did my own thing. I was the first to go to sleep because I had a lot to pray about. Goodbye Texas.

Eriks B-Day

August 11, 2005
Today was a calm day. Daniel led a study for us first, then everyone finished Pirates of the Caribbean while I went to Starbucks with Heidi, Mrs. Hester and Lindsey. Me and JooRoo were all about journaling and writing today, or at least at the same time today. Then Michelle showed us a video called “Invisible Children” and talked to us about the organization a bit. That was a powerful video and I still don’t know what to do with the information I attained from it. At night we went to the Judy’s for dinner, Thanksgiving Dinner, and then the Seniors went on their night out. While they were gone I just read Harry Potter. When they got back, we played Capture the Flag for a while but I quit after the first round because my mind was too preoccupied with other things. I talked with Lindsey after that and then we went back home. I think tonight was the one night that I wished Jill was with us the most because I had to talk to her! lol. Happy Birthday Hadj! [On a side note, my thought of the day was "Why do I depend on others moods to determine mine?"]

Scavenger Hunt

August 10, 2005
Today we went on a Scavenger Hunt and did debriefing for the two teams. During debriefing we had to go around and encourage one another. I went first, so everyone in the circle had to say something encouraging to me. I was, rather embarrassed but it was encouraging and I was glad to be able to tell people why I appreciated them. A few months ago I wrote down why I was thankful for the people in Ro0ts so it was kinda’ cool to actually tell them face to face; but at the same time it was hard for me, personally, because I’m not good at talking and I felt weird telling them. The problem that arose with doing that was that soon after telling them, sometimes they would do something contradictory to what we said [I’m sure I did too.] The Scavenger Hunt was fun: but I think my experience was tainted by some comments people were making. I think my favorite part was when Daniel screamed up at the building requesting to be on some team. That was hilarious. Tonight, as everyone was watching Pirates of the Caribbean, I read Amos and Obadiah, per request of David when he found out I was going to read my bible. The two books turned out to be really good and I enjoyed reading them much. Man, that kid is so wise!

The Lake

August 9, 2005
Today we went to the lake. Everyone went tubing and jet skiing and Julia went wake boarding. It looked like fun but I don’t like to get wet. I can made up a hundred and one excuses as to why but when it comes down to it, the real reason is too personal and I wasn’t willing to explain it to anyone so yeah. It was fun though, watching everyone on the tubes. I got a little sun burned, but its not that bad because compared to everyone else – who have really sore muscles AND sun burn – I got nothing to complain about. I stayed dry the majority of the day, until Mr. Judy dunked the front of the boat into the water and got my entire left leg soaked. Then, when he got on the Jet Ski and splashed a lot of water where I was sitting – twice and I was wet the rest of the day. Haha. I spent most of the day with JooRoo.

Quiet Time

August 8, 2005
In the morning, the Judes had us all separate for an hour and a half to spend some quiet time with God. I went out into the field and, though at first it was hard to concentrate, I did it and it was great. For awhile I just talked to God, but as the red ants bit my ankles, I found I was too distracted so I sang to god for awhile. I remember I sand “Here I am to Worship”, Steve’s song, and “All in All.” Then I sat for a bit thinking about Lord of the Rings (which probably wasn’t the most productive of things to do but it helped me relax a lot.) I tried to journal next, but my pens died so I read a bit of Hebrews. I ended with just praying that God would help us all to be broken this week and for the unity of Ro0ts to be strengthened more than I can imagine. Eventually the Judes rode out to tell me I could go back. They gave me a bottle of water and I was just so thankful for the Judes - they are so great. When I got back, Julia took me out on the ATV’s. I was thankful she did because I wouldn’t have done it without her. Finally, we drove back home and showered and did our own thing. We also went to a “haunted house” on the corner of the Hesters street.

Middle Earth. "The Land"

August 7, 2005
This morning we went to UBC and worshipped with David Crowder. It was really cool, I thought, because they left the lights off –for the most part- and it took away a bit of the self conscious attitude while worshipping. I loved the music, I loved the atmosphere, and the message was good but it felt a lot more like a youth group than a church to me. I think it was an awesome experience but I don’t think I could go there every week and feel satisfied. There has been some talk about that church today: “Did you like it?” “What do you think about them playing secular music in the background?” We talked a bit about this stuff at a coffee house called Common Ground. On a tangent, I will say that Common Ground is an awesome place and it is the typical coffee house – very artsy, very calm, very cool, laid back. I loved that place. But back to the day. After Common Ground, we drove out to “The Land” – or what is better known as “Middle Earth.” There was a house that we crowned “Sheelabs lair” and a field that I crowned the Shire. We basically gave everything a name. While there, the Judy’s brought over their ATV’s and allowed everyone to go four-wheeling (I chose not to). Then they gave everyone a chance to shoot off a gun (I chose not to again.) Later in the night we had a campfire and sang worship songs around it. That was probably my favorite part of the day. After that, Dan, Erik, Daniel, Jason, David, Paul, Charisse, Julia, Lindsey, Charity, and myself went out to a former graveyard on the Land and tried to dig up a grave. I actually didn’t dig but it was cool all the same. We only got about three feet down when we realized it was going to take way too long and we gave up.

So it begins

August 6, 2005
So I’m on my way to Texas right now. Yes, I decided to go. It has been a long, arduous journey in determining for me to stay or go. In the end, I assumed the regret of not going would outweigh the guilt of going [and there in leaving Dad to fend for himself for the week.] I still feel a little guilty and I am still questioning whether or not I made the right choice but I am so looking forward to spending time with the youth group and –hopefully- gaining out unity again that I think it will be okay. Not to mention that I am confident this trip will strengthen me in the faith department. I also know I need this trip before school starts – as school will be a challenge in itself this year. I need this trip to gain the unity in Ro0ts back, to give me confidence in my friendships again before entering the rocky friendships I have at school. As for right now though, I am just looking out the window at the clouds and trying to entertain myself as everyone else sleeps.

The Dark Forest: Number 5

Come quickly, my daughter, let’s hurry, now cease your chores
My daughter, grab the saddle, mount the horse
Oh father, my father what is going on
Oh father my father, wont you tell me what is wrong
Come quickly, my daughter, lets hurry, he’s gaining fast
My daughter, into the woods and don’t look back
Oh father, my fathers something gaining fast
Oh father my father a shadow reaches out and grab
Come with me, I have come for your blood
You can not resist me, you now belong to me
Come quickly, my daughter, lets hurry and don’t give up
His power grows stronger with the saddie
Father my father, He reaches for me
Father my father he has grabbed me
Come with me, I have come for your blood
You can not resist me, you now belong to me
You now belong to me

Father my father, he has pulled me off my horse
I am on my way to save, you
You are not match for me, I am stronger than you
Stronger is a father’s love, than any strength in your veins
Father my father, he is ready to work tough
Nananananana. I wouldn’t let you take my daughter
Prepare yourself to fight, you shall not feel my wrath
For my daughters life I am not afraid to fight
Father get up, Father, he has captured me
Come with me, [captured me] I have come for your blood [captured me]
You cannot resist me, you now belong to me
You now belong to me, you now belong to…

My Trip in a Nutshell

"Crossing The Line"
Somewhere tonight.
Inside of me.
A smile so distant... memory.
Covering up my face.
Landed on my knees.
So you can never see
The darkest part of me
[CHORUS:]Shutting my eyes,
I'm dying inside...
I've lost myself
A thousand times.
But i can remain
In spite of the pain.
I'll cross this line
Just one last time.
They are part of me;
These words that never heal.
They still remind me
That all of this is real.
Hiding from the world,
Lost in my disease.
So you can never see
The darkest side of me.
[CHORUS]
I can feel it...I can feel it......
Just for a second I want you to see
I hide myself from you
I hide myself from you
I feel so infected from these memories.
I hide myself from you.
I hide myself from you.
(from you, from you...)
[CHORUS]
Just one last time.
I'll cross this line
Just one last time.
Just one last time.
I'll cross this line
Just one last...Just one last time.

Texas Trip

There is a lot I can say about the Texas trip, but I’ve thought about how much I really want to let people know about my experiences, and I decided some things are better left unsaid. So sometime in the next few days, I will post about The Land [Middle Earth], and the Lake, and the Rodeo, and Trail Dust, and the Scavenger Hunt, and all that good stuff.