Patience
Oh my gosh...I feel like crying right now. So much is running through my head...like..I can not believe I am going to have to retake algebra one next year! I mean, seriously.... I worked my butt off this year, and now..I just get to re-do it next year...I wonder what God is trying to teach me or show me through this...it has to be something.. Unless its the devil trying to frusterated me to no extent! Also, Im worried about Dad. He is so incredibly swollen... Hes all red...and his skin is like..stretching.. I get this horrible feeling hes on the verge of a heart attack... And it scares me.. When I have to bring myself to think that...he might die soon...within the next few years..maybe before Im even out of high school.. Oh my gosh.. Ah, it is getting to me right now...maybe its just all in the moment, I dont know. Also, I want to talk with Jesse...but hes "too busy." I do because...he was a serious escape from reality..we just..talked about stuff.. a lot about God, and it was encouraging...

Then theres Theo....I worry about him too. I pray about it..but I still feel so..helpless...and like Im not making any difference. I know prayer is the strongest thing I have that I can do, but sometimes its so hard to accept it.

Well, today I went out with Crystal to Barnes and Noble and exchanged that "Garden" book for the new Cirque du Freak #7. Im pretty happy with it..but I know its not glorifying to God so I do feel a bit convicted..not too much, but somewhat. Also, I got Mom some nice white flowers, a cute card, a chocolatey cookie, and some flower seeds. I brought it over, and she was brushing her teeth, lol, so yeah. She seemed to like it...I dont really know. Ah well. It was fun though...going out with Crystal..just me and her...not Dad or mom driving. Definately cool.

Another thing is school...like... I just want to be in church or youth group all the time. I dont want to deal with people from school... Lately... Paul and kinda Sarah have been giving me attitude about my reading the bible in my free time at school sometimes. Mostly Paul, making comments, and Sarah laughing at the side. Its rude..and they have no business saying anything at all! I guess Im just frusterated with them... but, I think this is something I have to pray about because I think Im ready to lose my patience.