The bottom dissapeared
So, now Alyssa is in the hospital. She has phemonia, and some bacteria is like, attacking her lungs furiously. The doctors dont know what it is. It could be SARS because she got back from Texas a few weeks ago, but right now they are only trying to substain her phemonia. My sister is worried because phemonia is highly contagious, and Alyssa slept over a week ago. So, I dont know. Me and Crystal are sick, but Im sure its unrelated. Dad had talked to Alyssa mom, he called from his hospital phone, and her mom said that Alyssa was touch and go, as was Dad after his surgery. Im so worried about Alyssa.
Then, I have to get rid of Cleo. She hasnt progressed in her potty training in a year...and she hates Tobi. I love Cleo, to death and back, but shes psychotic, and ontop of all this other stuff, I cant handle her. I dont want to get rid of her, but I need help training her, and nobody will help me. And we cant afford to buy Cleos food and toys..I just think she deserves a better home...
Im so confused. I dont get it. Right when I turn to God for help, more pain isnt far behind. I mean, right when Alyssa started turning to God again, she ends up in the hospital. My pastor says that God sends tribulations and pain to basically test us and see if we turn to him for help, and if we do, he is glorified.The only way I can interpret this, is that he sends us pain, so in the end he can be happy. And if thats true, I just cant fathom that Christianity is the right thing for me. I dont want to lose faith, because thats all I have, but at this point, I am so lost. Nobody seems to be able to change my mind about it all. Crystal feels the exact same way. We talked last night, and we dont get it.
I just cant wait for the pain to stop, and for the bottom to stop falling out. I mean, Im actually at the point of dreading to be happy, just in fear that the pain isnt far behind. Thats no way to live... ::tear::