Worn down
Im really...tired. Physically, yes, but more so Im emotionally tired. Per say. Its like, I seem to be myself again. My friends and family probably think Im A-Okay. Its weird though. Its like, Im putting on an act. Or, Im burrying the pain...Because when Im alone, or get too deep in thought...it hurts so bad. Nobody knows... To be honest, I think Im going to snap. Because ontop of putting in so much effort to seem normal, I cant handle all the little distractions. Its like one more thing happens, and Ill crack. And, dont get me wrong. Im not trying to act normal..Its hard to say. Like, subconciously, I have to meet peoples expectations. I have to be okay. For Dads sake if not mine. And I feel like I have nobody to turn to for help anymore. I have people in my life...but I cant really..turn to them. Im not close enough to them. Its may be my fault, but thats beside the point. Im exausted and I cant take the way my life is going anymore. It takes sooo much effort to pray..or turn to God. Like, it litterally makes me want to cry...I dont know what to do anymore.