On the verge of tears
Oh man. Well, as I said before, Theo was mad at me. But today, he wrote me a note and said stuff like the whole world doesnt revolve around me and that Im mean, and that he beleives in his God and I can believe in mine and a whole bunch of horrible stuff like that. I was so shocked, because he has been bugging me to preach to him and keep trying to bring him closer to God, because if I didnt, he wouldnt ever get there. So, I'd bring it up sometimes, but when I did, he wouldnt want to talk about it.....so I'd bring it up less...you know. Anyway, he told Jennifer that he cast his first spell in a long time this weekend...and just, stuff. So at lunch, I was ready to cry. I had just gotten the note a half hour previous, and it was fresh in my head...Colin was hugging me, and so was Melody and Jennifer...but that made want to cry more.. :-\ Anyway, I ended up holding it all in throughout the school day. But after school I took a walk with Cleo and tears started to come out...I dont know, its just all too much right now. Im still broken about Tobi. And recently Mom doesnt want to pick us up from school, and Ive just been praying that Mom could kinda' be like all the other moms, always hoping for their kid to talk to them..Im sick of hoping to have a normal conversation with her, without fighting...and Dad isnt the same. I mean, hes Dad, but now I cant give attitude, and things are so different that they used to be because Im always scared that I'll say something mean, and he'll die soon after...Just a scary thought. Anyway, Crystal jumped on my back today, saying maybe by talking to people about God im pushing them away from Him. And that is ALOT to lay on me...its like, Im turning people away from God, causing Him all that pain when they deny him...
Ive been listening to KJ-52 lately. My favorite song of his in recent times is "Dear Slim part 2" Lyrics:
La la la la la la la yo yo yo yo yo
La la la la la la la la yo yo
Dear Slim Part Two yo yo

Dear Slim I wrote you but you ain’t calling
Its been a couple years now since I wrote that song and
A lot has changed now for you and I
I have no clue now that I’d write a song for you and it would change some lives
Kids with tears in their eyes they now come up to me
Showing love to me and telling me that they look up to me
The effects to me well it’s really kinda strange see I only want to share with you Jesus’s love for me

There’s a whole nother’ side of things now I’ve come to see
It’s a huge influence you’ve got upon this industry
But enough of me because it’s not what I came to say to you
Not a day goes by while I take time to pray for you
I’m sorry now for what your mom and dad they did to you
But I can relate with you because you see dude I’ve been there too
I know there’s a lot of pain and hurt now that you’ve been through
But never forget there’s a real love God gave to you

Chorus
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la
To whom it may concern
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la
Still to whom it may concern
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la
To whom it may concern
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la
It’s still to whom it may concern

Dear Slim I wrote you but you still aint calling
Backstage at the VMA’s someone gave you my song and
I’m kinda wondering what you thought man
When that guy walked up to you and talked to you and put it in your hands
Maybe you never listened to it or maybe you lost it or maybe you heard it and
You just got mad and then you tossed it
Did he get you back that’s the question that I’ll always get
And I’m like for God forbid that you might even have liked it
I don’t know congratulations on your movie yo
And I heard your last record well over ten million sold
But there’s one thing that’s really got me thinking bro
Does a Grammy mean anything and if its just gotta cost your soul
In case you didn’t know there’s a love that will never go away
You said your going to hell but it don’t have to be that way
See the bottom line of what I’m trying to say is
God puts back together the broken pieces that’s been thrown away
And even everyone ya know ya stuff that goes away
He’ll still love ya til the very day that your old and gray
Too bad a lot of Christians all they do is hate on you instead of droppin to their knees
And takin’ time to pray for you
And it’s obvious that you really love your daughter dude and for that I gotta tell you well
I really got respect for you
So here it is, Dear Slim Chapter Part Two
Another cat just trying to make it just like you

Chorus

Dear Slim did you hear the junk that I’m going through
Kids sending me hate mail and telling me how I’m biting you
Telling me how there gonna beat me up and just kill me too
But a lot of people they just seem to get my song confused
See what I say to you I know I might even sound funny but I never came at
You just to paint you as the enemy
It wasn’t about hatin’ you or startin’ some controversy
It wasn’t about blamin’ you or trying to make some money (no)
I don’t claim to know everything that you’ve experienced
Man I don’t know if you even be hearin’ this
But I said it once and I still hold to this
Is that a life without Christ is still a life that is never fixed
I tell you this even if it is a hard pill to swallow
Like it or not Slim you will always be a role model
Do you know these kids, we’re the one’s they always follow
What we say and how we live gives them a better tomorrow
I had my share of sorrow plus man I’ve been rejected
I’ve been chewed up, spit out and cussed, disrespected
But if I die today and I never sell another record
Jesus gave me more than I ever coulda been expected
I know life is hectic it could leave ya blown away
But check it bro because we all just gon’ die some day
And on that note well there’s only just one thing to say
There’s still one love and one God and only one way!

Chorus x2