The thought of me...with a journal..
I guess I'll just start with my...uh, love life issues..I've never in my life had a problem with my love life...because I've never had one. But now, after telling Peter I had a crush on him, and Emanuel telling me he likes me, things are starting to get confusing. I didn't expect Peter to tell me he liked me to. In my wildest dreams, I expected him to not hate me. Lol. Well, Peter has a girlfriend, and after talking to her, I found out she is really nice. Having basically given up on Peter and moved on to Emanuel, thing are weird. I've been friends with Emanuel for almost 2 years now. And we've been best friends for probably a year almost. I admit, at times, I liked him alot more than a friend, but of course, I never told him! Even after he told me that he liked me in December...I didn't tell him. I was scared that by the time I told him...he wouldn't like me anymore. Like, after saying "I like you" to me, aloud, it became a sick realization that he did not like me. So, I never told him. Until. he told me again in June that he liked me. And asked me out...The last thing I wanted to do was hurt him...and I did like him..So I told him yes, I'd go out with him. Of course, I made sure he knew I liked Peter also..And he told me to try again with Peter. I cried..Hah. I mean, I felt really bad! Peter had a girlfriend, so there was NO hope there...and I knew, even if Peter didn't have a girlfriend, there would always be an excuse to not go out with me. Within the next week, I gave up with Peter. Since, he didn't talk to me the whole time. Haha. Well, I cant wait for Emanuel to get back. I want to meet him somewhere and talk...I dont know where, but I think we need to talk. I want to tell him that I really like him..and Im just now realizing the full extent..After finding myself doodling his name in my spiral, and wishing I could have a hug..Lol. Im so stupid. ::Long Sigh::