Eternally Alone
Being home alone is very lonely. Crystal went out with Mom to the doctor and then they went out to eat. I havent eaten anything but crackers and slimfast for a few days, so I didnt go with. And it's good because I can use the lack of food. -_-. Well, staying home was quite as entertaining as one would hope. While Crystal was gone, I was supposed to make her a new site, but Blogger was down from noon until midnight! And I didnt have anybody to talk to because Emanuel is still on vacation, Peter is always on away message, and everyone else takes little, if no, interest in the things I have to say. At 2:00pm I watch Passions and then at 3:00pm I started cleaning the house. Crystal got home at 4:00. I finished at 5:00pm and the boredom stuck again. I started writing Jennifer a letter while watching Charmed. Then Crystal said I could go online, so I put the letter away and went online, hah. I tried blogger again, but still, nothing. I went to Cerulean Sky, and drew a Charmed oekaki. I sent it in, but it didnt show up on the board, so the drawing was gone.MAN! I was so mad! It looked really good, and I had worked really hard on it for an hour and a half. Again, I tried to draw a Charmed oekaki, but of a different picture. It turned out semi-good, but not as good as the first. I sent it in, AND AGAIN, it didnt work! So frusterated....But the boredom was crazy, so I tried again. I drew Alyssa Milano (Phoebe), and it didnt turn out too good, but it went through on the site. After that, I drew Holly Marie Combs (Piper). That also went through. I checked Blogger after finishing that, and it was back up! So, now Im here, adding to my journal. ^_^. Just a few minutes ago, I heard Tobi scratching on the floor, so I went to go let him in whatever room he was scratching infront of..Dads room...I slowly opened the door, and Tobi walked in. I switched on the light, and Tobi looked around the room. But nobody was in there. He looked up at me, confused. Tears formed in my eyes and I started crying. I kneeled down and hugged him, and told him I missed Dad too. I think it was then that he realized Dad was not here, and wasnt coming back for awhile. ::tears run down cheeks:: To add to that, Dad called earlier, and he told Crystal that he thinks he wont be getting out of the hospital anytime soon, so hes sending over the child support money so we can cash it. We cant buy anything with it though, because that money ($250.00) and the $100.00 hidden in Dads room, are going toward a car for Crystal. ::sigh:: And now that we have literally no money, I find myself wanting more and more.
1)A new computer
2)A zip drive
3)An MP3 player
4)A simple journal
5)Michelle Branch CD
6)Liz Phair CD!
7) Dog treats for my babies
8) A cell phone
9)An actual house
Etc. In no specific order. Im wondering if I'm being selfish. ::Sigh:: I need to wake up from my dream world and come back to reality, because the closest I will get to any of those things this summer is this online journal that I'm writing in now.