Scary Phone Call

Wow, I feel like I havent updated in forever. ::shrug:: Anyway. My friend Linda called me. I met her in 8th grade and then she moved in with her mom and dad at the end of that year. (Through 8th grade she lived with her aunt and uncle) So I havent seen her since the end of 8th grade. Shes been having a really hard time living with her mom because her mom expects SO much of her. They're chinese and I guess its kind of their custom to be perfect or something like that. Well, Linda just wants to be a normal teenage girl... Read magazine, listen to the latest music, hang out with friends. Thats just, the biggest thing she wants. Well, she called me tonight jusy crying. Shes called me a few times before crying and stuff but this call was different. It was kind of hard trying to make out what she was saying but I managed. She said stuff like "Naomi, you were such a great friend.. i love you girl" and "my life is so horrible.. i just cant live it anymore." then she said 'goodbye' and hung up! I called back a hundred times before she answered. I talked to her for 35 minutes.. Just trying to calm her down, talk her out of whatever she was thinking.. Um, she is just in so much pain. I know exactly how she feels because I used to feel exactly like she does now. Like your struggling so hard to be happy and you just cant. Its like, if your drowing in water and your trying to hard to just get on top to breathe, but you cant. So eventually, you die. And shes saying shes at that point. I was just like.. praying. I tried to tell her I knew how she felt and that she can make it through but when your at the spot, you dont want to hear how "people know how you feel." And it was hard for me to just sit there and not have anything to do.. I could not say anything to help her. I could not do anything to help her. I know all I can do is pray and though that feels so.. helpless, I know its the best thing for her. Im going to call her after school tomorrow and hopefully things will be better.

P.S. (Is that what you write in a journal when you have something little to add? Lol) I am currently working on Volume 2, Issue 2 of RY magazine! I acutally haven't printed Volume 1, Issue 1 yet because it costs $1 a page at the library for colored pages and I dont have $14 yet. Plus I have to buy a $45 memory card for my NEW Powershot A75 digital camera! Yeah! Ma' got it for me 1 week ago for Christmas. Yes, I know its not christmas but it was on sale now. And just to mension.. Wednesday, when I got it, I brought it to Vintage to show my cousins and stuff and Erik was soo keen on dissing it. "Oh, Im getting a $500.00 one.. Mines going to be so much better.. Yours is cheap.. Da da da da da" Well, he is getting one for himself.. And I wont even say how he rubs it in my face that he got a better deal! Gr. Lol. Oh well, Im just so happy I have one I dont care what he does with his. :-P Heh

The 9 fellowship members

Okay, so since Friday my internet has been off. I guess we couldnt afford it or something but now we just got.. something.. Im actually not even sure what it id.. though Im pretty sure its SBC global. Oh well, alteast I can update this now.. though I still cant get on my s/n. ::shrug:: So.. nothing really new has been going on. I missed study on Monday because Crystal didnt want to go and mom said she'd go but she wasnt ready and was tired soo... I didnt go. I know all the verses.. I can type them now without looking. But, that doesnt matter. Lol. Sooo. Lately Ive been spending 2 hours at the library a day.. Well, I did on Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Tuesday.. Not Monday because I THOUGHT we were going to study but whatever, no bitter feelings.At the library, I was working on my news letter/magazing. So far it has 14 pages which is probably the limit because I cant afford to print it anyway. Lol, but personally, I think it looks pretty cool.. I dont intend to give it to anyone or anything.. if they saw it and wanted it them I dont know.. but right now Im just making them for fun. Hehe. Get my stuff published.. by me.. :-) Umm. So yesterday I totally sat down and watched the Fellowship. It was so overwhelming I almost cried! It has been so long since I watched it.. it really brought back memories of New York City! Speaking of which I had a dream about NYC last night. Me, Crystal, mom and aunt Jenny drove down to NYC.. then all the sudden Crystal has a broken leg and apparantly got it from jumping backwards on her crutches.. How she did that on the crutches before actually getting them for the broken leg is beyond me, but thats why its a dream.. I remember something about Jackie and Allie, but I dont remember what they had to do with anything.

Vintage: Battle of the Bulge

Tonight was the Battle of the Bulge at Vintage youth group and it started out pretty cool. The band played some Swicthfoot, Skillet, Evanescence.. then there were some skits, eating contest. Then pastor Heith started his message. He was talking about death.. they had a grim reaper walking around through some RIP tombstones.. and some smoke machines making everything foggy.. right as he was tying Jesus into everything, telling everyone that through Jesus we can live, the smoke alarm went off and we all had to leave! I was just in shock.. like how the enemy did that. We were outside and stopped and prayed for a minute. But basically, the night did not go as they planned. I feel so bad for the people who spent all that time planning it.. like that would just be so upsetting. Im just praying that seeds were planted in those peoples hearts tonight. I pray they come back.. because at this point Im just so fearful that the enemy took hold of them again tonight... but yeah, all I can do is pray..

Shoo be do be do wahhh

Well, Ive been doing alright. Dad went into the hospital for awhile..Northwest Community, but they werent treating him good so he left today and now hes home.. he.. well, im not going to get into it but hes finding a different hospital to check into. So, I guess nothing is really new. The vintage party is tomorrow evening. Crystal cant go because she has to work so I have to get ma to drop me off there or at the Rods and then Crystal can pick me up after she gets off work but its just going to be chaotic.. Um, yeah.. I talked to Jesse yesterday for a bit and hes just been straying from his walk. Getting so wrapped up in himself and dating that he almost doesnt even care. We talked for about an hour (which i was a bit.. iffy about after all the lessons we went over) but I think it was fine. I was praying a lot during the conversation and then like, I dont know if he got anything out of what I shared with him but I kinda got to share my testimony and encourage him so I dont know. Besides that, Im just looking for a job. I filled out an application for Hallmark, and Im going to get one for like, burger king, wendys, and jewel.. and any other places that may hire 15 year olds because i want to buy people something for christmas.. i want to have my own money to spend on what i want or whatever without having to ask mom or dad. And I really want a digital camera.. plus I just need a job, so yeah. lately Ive been making my own little studies on stuff from the bible during study hall because I get bored. The first one I wrote out was just the study from Wednesday night youth group when pastor Heith talked about purity.

PURITY

1 Kings 11:1-10
Song of Songs 5:8 and 6:41
Thessalonians 4:3-8

Genesis 39: 1-12
+ 39:6 -7 "Now Joseph was well built and handsome, and after a while his masters wife took notice of Joseph and said "Come to bed with me."
-In other words, she thought he was hot and wanted him.
+ 39:8 "But he refused. "With me in charge," he told her, "my master does not concern himself with anything in this house; everything he owns he has entrusted to my care."
-Basically, Joseph is telling her he is not going to break the trust with his master and sin against God.
+ 39:10 "And thought she spoke to Joseph day after day, he refused to go to bed with her or even be with her."
-So it wasnt like she asked him once and gave up, but she was constantly tempting him.
-Joseph was wise and decided to stay away from her because the Lord commanded us to flee from temptation.

DO YOU FLEE FROM TEMPTATION?
Girls: Do you dress modestly? Or do you wear clothes that can tempt your brothers? Honestly, are you wearing clothes to get some attention?
Guys: Do you protect your sisters from temptation? Or do you pressure them and tempt them yourselves into doing things the Lord clearly commands us to stay away from until marriage?

~~> Society uses everything for sex. From selling Dorritos to fashion by using sex appeal. Its no surpise to us anymore that were pressured to have sex before marriage but does that mean you have to give in? Joseph didnt. It cost him a lot but he held strong with the Lord, living in faith. It may have cost him a lot but he was brave enough to handle it. Are you?

~~>God has someone special picked out specifically for you to marry.-Be faithful to that person-Thinking in terms of already being married to the person God has picked for you; would dating not be like cheating?-Anyone you date will have their own spouse one day. Their own special person specifically picked for them from God Himself.

Experiment
1) Take some tape and stick it to your clothes. (Duck Tape or Scotch Tape works best)
2) Peel the tape off in 3 minutes
3) Stick in on again somewhere else
4) Repeat numbers 1-3
5) Repeat numbers 1-3
-Eventually that tape will stop sticking.- This experiment is a lot like purity and marriage. The tape is your purity. If you have sex with a certain amount of people, eventually the closeness of it will begin to wear thin. (The stickiness.) By the time you get married, the stickiness of that purity, the tape, will be gone. All that is left is comparisons going around in your head.

Temptation
1 Corinthians 10:13 "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.
Hebrews 4:15 "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet was without sin."

I was faithless through what I thought was a friendless fiasco.

Okay, now this is one of the most personal posts Ive ever written, er, am going to write but I want to get it out.. Last Friday, October 1, 2004.. I was on the phone with my friends Megan and Emanuel. Emanuel has been going through a lot of junk lately and I havent seen Megan for a year and a half because she moved and we just never made plans. So were all on the phone just talking, and I realize how "out of the loop" I really am. They know exactly what eachother is talking about and I was so clueless. About bands, Tv.. etc. A part of me, the smaller part was proud of myself that Ive come so far in my walk with God that Im becoming less of the the world and more a child of Him. But the bigger part of me was almost upset. I used to be the one in the group who knew the latest music, who would laugh at Emans gross jokes.. etc.. Now, the tables have turned. Im the one telling him its not funny, saying I dont know what band theyre talking about.. And I started to feel like a prude.. It was just hard. That on top of sitting alone at lunch and having nobody to talk with, well, it wasnt easy like I said. At youth group it kinda feels like everyone has their best friend. Jackie and Reese or Reese and TIff.. Or Jill and TIff.. Ryan and Erik, Eric and Erik, etc.. And I know.. I KNOW God is more than enough..but it doesnt make having no friends in person any easier. I am so thankful that God is there for me, at all times, no matter what.. Anyway, I think the last thing was Sunday at this new youth group we went to in Lombard when everyone was making some really good friends and I was left in the dark. I said hi and stuff to a lot of people but nobody really talked to me. One girl was so excited to meet Jill, Crystal started talking with this guy Mike who goes to a highschool close to ours.. and I was just standing there. I couldnt understand why Im always the one people dont want to talk to. Why I have no social skills. I started being more like JIll, loud and out spoken.. and being more like the rest of the youth who have lots of friends and I couldnt understand why it wasnt working. Why do people like Jill/Jax/Crys/Reese/Tiff etc and not me?! On the ride home from the youth group I was just listening to my music and basically trying to figure things out. Had God called on me to be a loner? I hoped not because I really have a desire to have close friends and people I can talk with. I was listening to this song by "Barlow Girl" called 'Mirror'. The chorus says : >>Who are you to tell me, That I'm less than what I should be? Who are you? Who are you? I don't need to listen To the list of things I should do, I won't try, I won't try<<>

Praise Reports

Oh my goodness, so much happened today it feels like. Okay, so this morning I just, was not up to going to school but obviously I had to go anyway. So before school Im listening to Seven Places and on the verge of crying from #13.. (On the side of my blog) First block..nothing special..just annoyed and impatient. Second block.. nothing special. Just plain annoying. 3rd block, at the end of class the teached, Mr. Pentz, asked to look at my book (::clears throat:: the bible! ) So I walked up and handed it to him. He was skimming over the pages I was reading. At the time I was looking over the B Attitudes and on the side of the page I had a long note about whether or not being 'angry' is okay..when it is, when its not, etc. Well, he just kinda nodded and handed it back but it was cool. The whole class saw, (and throughout the whole class people were staring at what I do anyway.. it reminds me of what Heidi says sometimes.. how people are just attracted to the light of God that we have inside us.. Like, this year it just seems like people are so...intrigued with what Im doing and stuff. But yeah. Just a side note) 4th block.. nothing really happened.. just that 3 people were arguing about who got to work with me on the quiz because Im "smart".. Uh, on the way to the assembly this one lunch lady asked me to come over and she asked my name.. said she sees me everyday and she didnt know my name.. so, like.. "were cool." lol. After school, around 8 pm, Megan called.. were hanging out at the mall tomorrow. Then we 3 wayed Emanuel. We all talked until 10 pm when Megan got tired. Hes coming to the mall tomorrow also. Megan is coming to youth group too. Answer to prayer.. Lately Ive just added her to my prayers.. next thing I know were talking and shes coming to youth group. Whether or not her intensions are to learn about the Lord, I dont know. So, I get online once we get off the phone and decide "why not IM Peter?" I havent seen him in awhile and.. I just want to say hi. So I say Hi..
Naomi: hey dude
Peter: heeey you
Naomi: hows it going?
Peter: ohhh man
Peter: I need to talk to you
Naomi: alright. go for it. ^_^
Peter: I've decided to goto church, probably this coming weekend...
Naomi: Really? Thats so cool
Peter: yea. I've been thinking about it for a while and...well I just need to
Naomi: That is so cool! What church do you plan on going to?
Peter: Willow Creek...does that sound right? My friend (Garret) went there and is "hooking me up" so to speak
Naomi: Ooh. Well, to be honest, I dont like Willow Creek. To me, they are just looking for money and I have heard from a lot of people who go there that its not fullfilling and that they find more gossip there than at school. But, its fine.. I mean, Im not going to say its a bad church.. you know. I just, think..well, yeah. you get it, I hope.. heh

So, this was so amazing! I REALLY hope I didnt offend him or lead him away from the Lord..but I know how important it is to get involved in the right church.. ::sigh:: He didnt respond yet.. But anyway, that was so amazing because I added him to my prayers lately too.. Its just, so amazing. Im in awe.. Praise the Lord!